I Got The Juice

In Spanish, we use the word Jugo to mean 'the juice'.  The Juice gives you power.  When someone is using steroids, we say 'he is juiced up'.  But I get high on mango and guava nectar.

In the 90s, I began study of music and martial arts.  I like both playing the guitar and rolling half guard.  I started guitar lessons in 1995 and grappling in 1998.  Hobbies are what you do because you want to do it.  If you start between 8 and 15, by the time you are in your late twenties, you will be a young master.

I could easily teach music lessons and Aikido lessons.  But my main career is in graphic design.  But that is something I do for the money.  If there was no money involved, I wouldn't even do it.  But I love the money.

Both music and any kind of combat sport or martial art is based on your innate body type and personality.  The way you play the guitar is an extension of your innate being.  I am strong and slow with energy and agility in the fingers.  So I play melodic rhythm on an acoustic guitar.  And I have a speech impediment so I must write simpler lyrics that say more with less.  John Lee Hooker was below average everything, and yet he was determined to make something of himself.  And he did.

In combat sports and martial arts, it is the same principle.  Kickboxing is for people who are strong and fast and aggressive.  Judo is for people who are strong and slow and have endurance and know a bunch of funky techniques.  Grappling and MMA is not my style.  There is also traditional stuff like Karate and Aikido.

So I do not believe you can teach one size fits all.  You must analyze what the student is like, what is style is, and what is appropriate to him.  One man's trash is another man's treasure. 

Even in diet, there is on thing appropriate to this man, and one thing appropriate to another.  It is not one size fits all.

So I like music and martial arts because it is big on long island and it is a happening scene.  Kickboxing is very popular, and there are lots of bars in long island and New York City.  I have played guitar at coffeeshops and restaurants.  And it feels good to play a guitar in front of people and pretend I am Chuck Berry on steroids.

So what I am trying to say is, your style is unique and you must express yourself before you are dead in the grave.

Budo

I am starting to think less about self defense and combat.  I want better things in life.  There is a difference between boxing and MMA and karate and all that jazz.  MMA doesn't work, it is a kind of contest.  Nobody kicks from far away and grapples in close.  The foundational skill of pankration is wrestling on the knees and kicking from far away.  But this doesn't work.  The reason why they kick in MMA is because if they commit to the punches the other guy will shoot and tackle them. 

The real world is about punching and weapons.  Self Defense is about punching them before they punch you.  Sometimes, they clinch you before you put your hands up, and it ends in a pinning situation.  In self defense, just punch and establish range.  The main thing of boxing is the jab and footwork.

I was deluded about grappling and MMA.  It is garbage.  When I was in these BJJ dojos, I noticed they are all arrogant champions and they don't know sport is not reality.  It is just a training tool.

I am starting to like Karate and Aikido and how they go together.  It is part of Budo, the philosophy of self defense as a religion.  We live so we can fight, reproduce, and eat.  The root chakra governs food, sex, and aggression.  We eat to live, we fight to live, and we reproduce constantly because reproduction is a kind of genetic immortality.  The meaning of life is to keep living.

All martial arts originated with Pelawani and Kung Fu.  The Indians and Chinese are very similar to each other and learn from each other.  Kung Fu is about punching, trapping, and weapons.  Real fighting involves weapons.  The main thing is to punch, clinch, and use melee weapons.  Everyone knows this.

Now that I am reaching maturity, I know self defense is for children.  Aggression is wrong.  Nonviolence is the best self defense.  When you do no harm, no harm is done to you.  The only way to win anything or be a champion is by knowing action-reaction.

I used to think about Aryan Supremacy, Psychology, Nietzsvhe's philosophy and Judo alot.  But this is all poppycock.  No one is superior.  Being a wrestling or judo champion is just kid's stuff.  All the ideas of Europe of the 19th century were based on grandiosity.  Even psychology, which is based on Nietzsche's philosophy is wrong and based on not believing in the immortal soul.  Hitler was arrogant, Nietzsvhe thought he was better than God, Psychology is about weilding power over others, and wrestling and judo is useless.  People laugh at wrestling champions because it doesn't work and it doesn't make you better.  Nobody cares if you are the champion.  And belt rank started in judo as a measure of progress.  In kung fu, there are no belts.

The zen lifestyle is about living a simple life and being quiet.  Food, sex, and aggression is just the begining.  A good man wants peace, eats simply, and moderates sexuality.  And then you go up from there.  Enlightenment means the kundalini awakening.  

So I am learning to move on.  I like music and zen and nutrition and my art.  Karate is for kids, and although boxing is fun to watch, it is too exciting and infuriating.  I just want peace and to enter a different state of maturity.  

I know I must live a better life.  So I am moving on.  

Hell Mouth

I am interested in Latin culture.  There are many authors in Latin America that are translated into English.  Most famous of all were Castaneda and Ruiz.  There is western yoga like there is Eastern yoga.  Aztec Yoga is all about Sex and the Sacred.

Lust is not the most evil thing in life.  On the contrary, it is the best.  Love and Lust are two things, but you need both to be a good human being.  The light is love, and the flesh is lust.  So love is an emotion, and sex is just gratification of the body.

But as long as we are alive, we need to balance between love and lust.  You have a body, so you need to eat and sleep and bathe and all that.  And we have a spirit so we need love and emotions and wisdom and knowledge.

God is Love, and the Devil is Lust.  But don't pretend like you are not lusty.  We are animals.  Life begins at the root chakra with food, sex, and aggression.  And as you go up the spine, it ends with the crown chakra and enlightenment and Oneness.  So kundalini yoga is the real self realization.  It is becoming your full potential.

So when I see porn, I don't feel ashamed.  Every woman has sex for money.  By 15 or 16, women realize that their vagina is a commodity.  A woman can get something with her sexuality.  Nobody pays men for sex.  Even male strippers are just pretty boys doing a fantasy business.  So women have more value than men.

The aesthetics of porn is all about what we secretly value.  The main thing, no kidding, is the penis next to the woman's face.  These two things are the most beautiful things in the world.  And the ejaculation is called, 'the moneyshot' because that is what people pay to see.  The most ridiculous moneyshot is in the woman's mouth.

So sex is just about lust and expression of rage.  We are animals who think.  First thing is self defense, eating, and fucking.  If you can't do anything else, just sit around at home cooking and eating.  The root chakra is the animal part of the human being, but a human being can go beyond the animal kingdom.  That is why any human birth is fortunate.  We are better than dogs or monkeys or whatever.

I find the Latinas and Asians the most interesting.  Latin women are great at sex and very lusty.  Asian women are submissive and servile.  I am not a big fan of white and black and all that.

This post is not about porn or lust.  It is about what we see in porn.  There is an aesthetic to it.  And between porn and art is erotica.  Erotica is art about lust and sex.  

What I am trying to say is, lust is a part of life and you have to accept you are part beast before you move on to the higher realms.

Less is More

The weekend is approaching and I realize a new lesson every day.  I helped a friend do grocery shopping ai got a week's supply of groceries, and i got a few bucks in my pocket.  So I learn that you help people and they help you.  But if you stay at home philosophizing and scheming and plotting revenge, you are an impotent loser.  My nuclear family taught me wrong ideas and wrong values, and I had no one to compare to, so I thought I was one of them.

Less is more.  When you do the bare minimum, and are content with it, you get everything you need, and then you get free time and money to do whatever the hell you want.  Solomon observed this is in the bible.. Anythign beyond the bare minimum goes to someone else.  I have met a handful of friends who possess this wisdom and humility.  You do not get more stuff for doing more things.  The more you go, the less you know.  Just doing a simple life of a simple man is better than being president or being a CEO or being a rockstar.

I feel content with my life, and how I am living.  But I know if I want more women and guitars and food and more trips to the Halal restaurant, I need more money.  I am reluctant to get a real job, because I am one lazy motherfucker.  But I am starting to see what is real.  Money is power, and if I want power, I need the money.

Judo is power on a more physical level.  Work is power on a more societal level.  I have several skills i can use, including sport culture, art, music, and nutrition.  These are all aspects of shamanic culture.  In Mexcio, the healer is the leader too.  And the ideal leader is man-womanish.  White dudes laugh at the idea of an effiminate man woman.  But Latinos understand the concept of the androgyn male.  Androgyny makes you more sexy and more complete.  I notice all the rockstars from past to present were androygnous.  Beginnig Elvis, Chuck Berry, Paul McCartney, Jim Morisson, Freddie Mercury, down to all the modern guys.  Balance between masuclinity and feminity does not make you a freak, it makes you powerful because harmony is power.  Light contains 7 colors that add up to white.  When you add colors on paper, it adds up to black.  So I work with digital cartoons not solid medium.  

So I am content but willing to do more to get more.  I met many wounded warriors, many good losers, many humble champions, and many talented failures.  There are also arrogant conceited winners and rich men who think they are rick because they are better.  But there are many factors in who wins and who loses.

So if I want to live and die in peace, I must get on my bike and ride.

Show and Tell

 I think I would take this fine morning to show off one of my artworks.  In recent months, I stopped drawing and sketching new artworks and just began recoloring old line art in new ways.  I need a new scanner.  But until that time, I will make do with what I have.  I see art as being more lucrative than rock n roll music in this cultural mileu.  Nobody listens to rock n roll anymore.  It is a historic genre that died out in the late 1970s.  I guess folks today aint got the same soul.

So here is my artwork of the day.

This is an old artwork I recolored and added new typography to.  Obviously, boxing is a retarded sport for people who want to pugilize each other.  It is a legal, socially sanctioned way for alpha males to express rage and not go to the house of detention.  I find it oddly fascinating and yet I don't like it.

This design is based on a quick sketch I did on a drawing pad, scanned into the computer, and digitally colored in Photoshop.  Since I have not mastered digital rendering techniques yet, there is no cel-shading yet, so the colors are saturated with no sense of light and dark.  So the art is very bright and pure and makes you happy.  It is like an elevated children's art.

I visit the subject of pugilism a lot because it is ridiculous and yet makes me happy.  I know the features of this boxer are distorted, but smart people don't do boxing.  They get jobs.  The colors are simple, the lines are thick and done over with a marker, and the typography is just beginner level.  But I constantly aim to improve my skills.

So I should switch my focus of this blog from crazy political, racial ideas and my theories about combat sports and the history of rock n roll music and get back to promoting my art career.  I have written volumes on this blog and have given away books of ideas.  If I was smart, I would be more sneaky.  But I do not wish to give away my position.  I am incognito.

So look out for more art from me.

Action Reaction

Every day, I learn new things.  Life is not static.  It is not about one thing and one thing only.  I observe and reflect and grow.  I do not stop learning.  I helped a friend do grocery shopping and he helped me back by hooking me up with some food.  So I learned that Kano's axioms are right.

Mutual Welfare and Benefit is the premise of society.  I help you and you help me back.  And if I hurt you, you have a right to hurt me.  But if I do nothing for nobody, nobody helps me.  This is called equity.  The universe was founded on equity.  

I have plans for the future.  I want more jobs in the graphic design field, I want to publish more books on nutrition, and I plan on writing a comic book or illustrated book for children.  But these things do not happen easy.  You must dream up an idea, plan it, do prelimary sketches, and accomplish the goal by a series of acts.  I have the tools to do it.  But I must get active.  And the more I do, the more I get.

So I must put behind me the past of music and combat sports and all the girls I wish I had dated in high school and all that jazz.  Porno and MMA is bad entertainment.  I stayed childlike for too long.  One brother helped me learn judo.  The other is helping me learn to grind a dayjob.  Judo is survival on a more primitive level, work is survival on a more sophisticated level.

So Maslow was right.  You go from low to high.  Music is based on the bass.  Health is based on nutrition.  All religious knowledge is rooted in the bible.  You start at the base and you work up to the noble.  But I took a long time to learn.

So my future is in graphic design and nutrition books and I plan on learning cartooning and storyboarding and ultimately creating digital comics for young people.  Kids between the age of 15 and 30 are punks exploring themselves.  You must get them when they are young.  By age 30 or 35, you are spent like an arrow.  And then life is only slowly dying.  A Hindu plans his life according to the ideal lifespan.  In Hindu philosophy a man should live 100 years.  But this is just an ideal.  Some live 80, some live 60, some die in youth.  Some die in their teenage years, which is a tragedy.  I do not need longevity.  I simply want to live and die in peace.

So I will do what I must do before I am done.

Blind Faith

 Your lifestyle is your religion.  It is not what you say in church one day a week or what you believe is true or how much money is in your bank account.  That doesn't matter.  There are different types of Buddhism according to your personality.

Theravada is about retreating to the monestary, being vegan, celibate, living off of alms, not fighting and attaining nirvana for yourself.  Mahayana is based on the premise of attaining kensho, teaching dharma for all your years, and then dying and finding bliss.

There are different schools of Buddhism.  Tibetan Buddhism is about meditating until you find spiritual powers and can do great things.  There is also Zen Buddhism where your lifestyle is your religion.  People in Japan do not go to church or even visit monks or priests.  They are not religious people.  Their life is their offering.  The way you eat, sleep, shit, make love, fight, do art, do music, cook a meal, sing a song, even the porno is influenced by their beliefs.

The reason America is so miserable is because they abandon faith, because if you are religious you can't fuck and fight and play your guitar and make sweet love to a woman.  But this comes from a guilty conscience.  And it comes from wrong science undermining faith.  All the ideas of the 19th century were wrong, and technology ruined our lives.  

Chuck Berry was a shrewd man who executed a strategy to manipulate the youth market.  With the advent of farm technology, you did not need to work the farm during the summer and a 15 year old boy could work a day job and spend his hard earned money on his girlfriend, comic books, and rock albums.  So Chuck Berry saw an opportunity to sell black music to white kids with the loot.  He was not evil, he was just shrewd.  But I dig his sound.

So you can reconcile religion and having a good time.  It turns out, religious people have the most fun, because they have the most passion and most desire.  They are great lovers, they will fight if they have to, their music is better than Eric Clapton on his best day, and some food at the church is not too shabby.

So everything is its opposite in Tao.  The obvious thing is not true.  The counterintuitive is true.  Soft men are hard, hard men are punks.  Softness is power, that is where Judo and Jujutsu comes from.  Yielding is strength.

So I have no declared religion.  I read the Tao Te Ching and the Baghavad Gita and it helped me master the concepts of msyticism.  When you master your mind, you become more efficient than a computer.  But ultimately, all we do amounts to nothing, because mortal men are day flies.  Just have fun while you can and be humble.  There are immortals in the bible, inlcuding Enoch the Wise, Elijah the Prophet, and Ezra became Ezrae-el.  So there are two immortals and one transcendent immortal in the bible.  

I know prophets are always martyred.  They martyred Bob Marley.  But the life of an ectastic healer is better than the life of Peter North or Bill Gates.  One gets to blast women's faces and the other has Machivellian schemes to take over the world.  I admire Peter North more than I admire Bill Gates.

So the beat goes on and I continue.  There is no meaning to life, we simply live to keep living.  So I keep living and keep surviving.  And by not being ambitious, I accomplish a lot of things and I just give it away because I don't care about money.  The best people I met in my life did not like money.  They just liked a peaceful lifestyle.  I met a vetrinarian who said, "Money cannot buy happiness"  It's just worldly value.  Health is worth more.  So is integrity.

So I will just keep doing what I do, and be happy with it.

Relations

There is a teaching in Voodoo that souls reincarnate around the same souls over and over again in different paradigms.  Your father might die, and be reincarnated as your grandson.  The soul of a man never dies.  The soul is immortal, the body is transient.

So your family is important.  It is not just your culture or racial identity.  You feel an afinity for your people.  And when you create new relationships, you create connections.  Souls know each other through affinity.

I feel I had a good life although I didn't accomplish much.  I spent a lot of time in isolation.  But I never feel alone.  I think the first thing you should work on is enlightenment.  Worldly things don't interest me.  You can learn by doing or you can learn to like the spirituality.  Most of all, I like music and philosophy and also grappling.  I have a lot of life experience.

My real family never left me.  There is a belief in yoga that when you think about someone you reach them somehow.  When you think of someone, you tune into their frequency.  A person is like a radio station.  And modern technology is almost useless.

So I am glad I know my real family and not my evil family that ruined my life.  I wasted more than two decades.  I am like Rumpelstiltzken waking up in a distant generation with nothing to show for it.  Google Rumpelstiltzken.  I survived a lot.

So I know that I will be just fine.  There is a belief in Kaballah that a person should balance between thinking the whole world is for him and the other extreme that the he is insignificant.  Both are equally true.  Because all we know is subjectivity.  Only God knows reality.  So when I hear Bob Dylan lyrics, I hear myself, because it is like a Rorshach test.  He was inspired by the Muse, and the Muse means the Akashic Record.  

So the world is for you, and every person is a hero of their own story.  I just happened to be very talented.  But there are plenty of talented people out there.  

It turns out the Chinese and the Hebrews are very similar people.  In Tao, they speak of the Three Pure Ones.  And in Jewish mythology, they speak of Enoch the Wise, Elijah the Prophet, and the rebirth of Melchizedek.  So the Jews have a prophecy similar to the Taoists.  The Chinese are on the continent of Asia similar to the Jews.  Jewish people are neither European nor African.  

I am glad I left my mother's home and I am on my own.  I don't feel in prison anymore.  I can live a simple life and be happy.  When I go out, I see some as good and some as bad.  Good people radiate the late and bad people don't shine.  Good people are pure and wholesome and bad people seem dark even up close.

So I pity this generation.  The Millenials are not that good.  They have it easier and they can make money and know technology but I am of the belief that each generation gets worse not better.  So we will wait and see what the future brings.  I am content to live my life.  

Been to Yokohama

Been fighting in the war.  This is a lyric from a Chuck Berry song.  It mentions references to serving in the military.  I like Chuck Berry's music and feel it was the origins of rock n roll.  And this genre of music defined what America gave to the world.

In general, Americans are punk ass bitches with distorted values.  But America seems to be the last empire.  There is good and bad here.  I like rock albums and cartoons and I used to like music videos on MTV.  The media is fun but it is just fake entertainment.

When I read the Baghavad Gita from a bookstore in my hometown in the 2000s, I saw it as a revelation from God.  It is one book that summarizes all the other books in the library.  You can read a thousand books and know very little, or you can read the Gita and know all a human can know.  Mysticism is how you become one with God.

So I like Yoga and see it more than just exercise.  In the USA, we see hatha yoga as something you do at a studio to get in shape without competing with people.  But in Russia, they see Yoga as a more comprehensive lifestyle.  

I have been exposed to yogis like Vivekenanda, Yogananda, his disciple Kriyananda, and now there is Sadghuru.  I consider myself a Yogi too, but in a different style.  I am part Hispanic and part Ango Saxon and part Jewish.  So my characteristics are different.

Kriyananda was very warlike and hard and courageous.  Yogananda was very soft and kind.  Kriyananda was very intelligent and benevolent.  I see Sadghuru as popular and smart, but he is not as good as the former ones.  My yoga is similar to the Shamans of Mexico since the West has spiritual teachers too.

Every kind of civilization that lives in the tropics and eats tropical food and lives a more harmonious lifestyle speculates on philosophy and the meaning of life.  I was taught in my LifeFood training that man was meant to live in a semi tropical environment.  We should be eating fruit and rice and honey.  And pork goes bad almost instantly in a tropical environment.  When you conform to nature, you are harmonious, when you try to innovate, you invariably fail.  There are only two kinds of people, the good and the bad.  And bad people cannot admit they are wrong.

So whatever kind of man you are, and whatever kind of inborn characteristics you have, you do not really change over your life.  You only get stronger and it gets easier to survive.

So Yoga is profound.  And there is more than one type in the world.  And now that I am living apart from my family, I see both Latinos and Hindus around my apartment.  And it's alright.  Latinos are about lust and desire and Hindus are philosophical people who love food and philosophy.  So there are different kinds of Yoga depending on your racial characteristics.  Don't take yourself so seriously.

I like my parents and my racial characteristics.  Latin culture is very rich.  I may never get to visit Mexico or Spain or Brazil but I can look at things online or go to Mexican restaurants and fill up on the salsa and chips before the actual entree comes to the table.  It's not that bad.  

So the beat goes on and I continue.  Life is developing.  I need more money to get more power, but I just want to have a ball.  I like certain things like rock n roll music and combat sports.  But this is just entertainment.  I need a job and a schedule and a way of life.  If you want to enjoy life, you got to do work first.

So I must get on my bike and ride.

Changes

You will find that you cannot outdo your genetics.  You often resemble your parents and have some of their characteristics.  That is why people are proud of their heritage, it defines their identity.  Racial characteristics are very real, and that is why people in America are sensitive about race and gender.  They think they are this and you are that and so we area different.  But this is an artificial distinction.  Race and Gender can change within one's lifetime let alone within many.

I have qualities of my mother and father.  I wasn't raised by my birth parents.  I knew I was different from the people who raised me and different from the people I went to high school and college with.

Overall, I am a Portuguese Jew.  My father is a Latino and my mother is a kind of Jewess.  I also have Native American heritage in me.  I am not a Caucasian and I am not an eastern European Jew.  

I am entering the last phase of my life.  By 40 or so, you are middle aged.  Most people live only 80 or so years, so 40 is mid way through life.  A good Hindu sees that there are four phases of life, and by the third or fourth you should be preparing for the end.

The ideal life is where you start in nutrition and health, then get a career skill, work, retire, and spend your last days meditating on the meaning of life.  To die with contentment is victory.  Yoga is a heroic religion where you win salvation.  It is the real Christianity.

So in my 40 or so years, I went through a lot of changes.  By the time I was a young man, I was a zen immortal, a hunchback, and a musician.  And now in my middle age, that is all I am.  Life comes full circle.  You end up where you started.  The things you do and experience during your lifetime don't really amount to anything, they are just experiences.  That is why rich people are stupid, they want to accumulate possessions when it is better to accumulate friendships and relationships.  They are worth more.

I want to enjoy my time and play more guitar.  Music makes me happy and my music is a combination of music and poetry.  The chords are music and the lyrics are poetry.  It is fun to write a new song.  When I write a new song, I write the chord progression first and then I add the lyrics.  My last song was Song of the Maccabbe which is about the spirit warrior of Jewish mythology.  It is my swan song.  

This world is worthless and you can only grab so much joy from it.  There is a process of life in that you are born in waking up, you go through changes, the sun sets, you enter the nighttime of beings, and then you fall asleep in death.  Your dreams are your mind in the bardo and you are reborn the next day.  So all men and women identify with Osiris the Sun God.  That is where religion comes from.  It started with Osiris, then the Jews innovated the Law, and then Christians synthesized it with Jesus, which is a kind of Jewish Osiris or Dionysus.  Hindus know religion is a kind of mythology from the subconscious and are not stupid. 

I don't mind dying.  I have nothing left to live for.  Music makes dying easy, it is the sound of emotions.  So the best thing I ever did was learn to play guitar.  I have been playing for 25 years which is a quarter of a century, and I feel my music is better than the music of the past 20 years.  I liked Kurt Cobain and felt he let down a generation.  

So I am content.  I am living in a different town now and I like it.  New York City is an important part of the world and Long Island is its suburban neighborhood.  The real estate is expensive for a reason, it is desirable.  Many people live here and work in the city.  And when I drive on the highway during rush hour, I feel bad for the working stiffs who need to spend an extra hour each way sitting in traffic.  The life of a worker seems unnecessary.  It is better to stay local, be less ambitious, and spend less money.  It is possible to live a better life with less money.  Money isn't everything.

So I am learning to like technology less.  I have a couple of acoustic guitars, a notepad, and a drawing pad.  Technology ruins everything.  You think it makes your life easier but it actually enables you.  In every stage of life, technology ruined humanity.  The Industrial revolution made us go from farm to factory.  The car is just a portable bed.  The guitar was the instrument the Twentieth century.  The telephone prevented us from leaving the house.  All new techonology is used for pornography.  And the computer and smartphone made us mindless masturbation addicts.  My life had of been better had I not become dependent on the smartphone and computer.  And driving prevented me from getting out there and meeting people.  

So when you help someone, you are actually belittling them, and when you teach them how to do it for themselves you are empowering them.  It is like that saying 'give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach him how to fish he eats for a lifetime.'

I have been through all the changes in my life and I learned all the lessons.  I can just enjoy the party til I'm done.

The Changing of the Guard

Life is not the same way it used to be.  I was a teenager in the 90s and even then things were getting crazy.  I was depressed in high school and was suffering from disbiosis so I would go like a zombie through school, sleep in the afternoons, and watch MTV all evening and night long.

I didn't accomplish much.  But I can't complain.  I had lots of friends in high school and I gained a lot of talents along the way.  I was already fully formed by 1995.  

By the 1990s, music was changing.  The Grunge Rock was a reaction to the fake music of the 1980s.  These guys were rockstars who didn't want to be rockstars.  This is a bit of a paradox.  I want to be a rockstar and I am not a rockstar.

I feel the music of the past 25 years was crap.  There are a few songs here and there, but I feel my music is the best.  I started playing guitar in 1995 and only started recording albums in 2017.  So for over 20 years, only local people heard my music.  

It was going to a native american festival on long island and being scared by two native american bullies that inspired me to write a song.  I have never seen such fearsome men in my life.  Native Americans do not need to go to karate dojos, they are karate.

So I went home and learned to play a John Lee Hooker song in open G tuning.  And from this I expanded my style.  For a long time I just played boogies and simple one chord tunes until I discovered a book on Chuck Berry and his guitar style.  It wasn't just about his songs, it contained a breakdown of his guitar style, and this influenced me profoundly.

So I went from John Lee Hooker to Chuck Berry and later I incorporated elements of Jimi Hendrix and Robert Johnson.  In recent years I discovered Lightnin Hopkins and he is now my favorite musician.  Watching Lightnin sitting alone with his guitar playing the blues is the most entertaining thing.

So I feel the music of the past 20 years was crap.  Even the actors are crap.  The new generation has nothing going for them.  They are more fit and more good looking and yet they have no talent.  When I see birthdays of celebrities over 40 I am happy, because I understand longevity is merit.   I don't even like people under 30.

The human lifespan is such that by 30 you are past your prime, by 40 you are middle aged, and by 50 your health problems begin.  Life is very short.

So I see this generation as pathetic.  People born in the 40s and 50s are called the Baby Boomers.  People born in the 60s and 70s are called Generation X.  And the people alive now are the Millenials.  The Baby Boomers were wild and free and tried to change the world.  Rock n Roll was a great invention and there was some good in it.  Generation X was in doubt and questioning itself.  They were rebelling and depressed.  And this modern generation is a joke.  All they know is technology.  The computer became popular in the mid 90s, the smart phone 10 years later.  These labor saving devices ruined everything.

In general, technology ruins everything.  The only reason Europeans could conquer the Americas was because of guns.  Native Americans are better warriors, wrestlers, doctors, lovers, and artists.  But the spirit medicine didn't protect them from the bullets.  Most European men suffer from microfallus and cannot punch straight.  So saying survival of the fittest is bullshit.  Native Americans are warriors and would rather die than be slaves.  They were either killed, died by pestilence, were relegated to the reservation, or were intermarried with the white man.  

When Malinche slept with a Spaniard, she was not doing something evil.  She knew she would give rise to a new race that would save the planet.  By nature, a Latino is part European and part native American.  The word Latino is synonymous with Mestizo.  Mestizo means 'mixed race'.  

There are four primeval races, and the Latinos are the fifth race.  And in Native American mythology, there is the prophecy of the five suns and the five human races.  This is the fifth sun, and Latinos are the best people.  

It turns out that art and mythology is not a waste of time.  It is simply using creativity to solve your problems.  I spent my whole childhood studying art, mythology, music, nutrition, and the books I read about judo inspired me to train.  I led a good life but didn't accomplish much.  

So I look at the world with a heavy heart.  The world is not improving.  But a spiritual man knows as one door closes another opens.  The cycles of life, death, and rebirth repeat.  That is the symbolism of trinity in Christianity, Cetlic paganism, and Hinduism.  It is a scientific law.  Every day, the sun rises in the East, goes down in the West, goes through the underworld, and rises again the next morning.  

So I know rock n roll music is kid's music, but it makes me happy.  I am simply going to live my days out in peace and play guitar. I feel I am the last great musician and the one who saved rock n roll.  It went from Chuck Berry to the Beatles to Elton John to Billy Joel to Kurt Cobain to yours truly.  There were great acts here and there in the past twenty years but I feel I am better.  The money is not the issue.  I released 6 albums in three years and my life is great.  I feel so happy to know people are listening to my music and think I am cool.

When I play music, I try to sound like Chuck Berry had he never invented rock n roll.  I go from Chuck Berry backwards to blues and jazz.  He tried to combined Rosetta Tharpe's sound with T Bone Walker's guitar and write lyrics that appealed to the mainstream audience.  So my music is rhythmic and soulful and bass heavy.  I use simple chord progressions and melodic rhythm.  I like my own music.

So I feel I saved rock n roll music.  It is a secular gospel music for modern times.  Chuck Berry was a skillful criminal who executed a plan to manipulate the youth market.  And I took his genre and made it about spirituality and emotions.  So I am a kind of musical rebel.  The meaning of life is Tikkun.  To understand your innate shortcoming, to correct it, and come back from defeat.  I used to love streetfighting, free sex, and listening to rock n roll.  And then I realized this is kid's stuff.  Nobody gets free sex.  Nobody fights without weapons.  And rock n roll is a music of angst and frustration and rebellion.  It is ridiculous for thirty year old men to entertain 15 year olds and manipulate their emotions.  The Beatles suck.

So it is the changing of the guard.  The only good thing about the world now is there is more music than ever.  But there is also more mental illness, technology, strippers, unwanted pregnancies, and violence than ever.  I don't like the modern era.  But what can I do?  

These are dark times.  But all I can do is enjoy my time on earth and be at peace.

Lowered Expectations

You can't go forcing something if it's just not right.  I learned this from a freakin Green Day song.  You cannot beat the Truth.  The truth is immutable.  Since it has power, it can be used to help or to hurt.  But a good man uses the truth to help and the a ninja uses the truth to hurt.  So I contrast the virtues of the Samurai and the Ninja.  Let us begin

I was not meant to work a freakin day job.  I have two college educations and it doesn't help me at all.  My education in acupuncture gave me a theoretical understanding of health and nutrition and disease prevention.  And my education in graphic design gave me a fun hobby to pass the time and express creative energy.  But if you cannot monetize these skills, it doesn't matter.

I have been doing guitar since 1995 and wrestling since 1989 and grappling since 1998.  You are your experiences.  You learn by doing.  Theoretical knowledge is almost useless.  So my hobbies became my profession, and my education became my hobbies.  So aha, my philosophy wins again.  Reversal is the movement of the Tao.  Things flow from extreme yin to extreme yang, and when you embody harmony, you embody God's virtues of balance, integrity, moderation, and humility.  Androgyny is the sacred state.

So like I once heard from a karate teacher, life comes full circle.  By 1995, I was a zen master, a hunchback, and a musician,  and 25 years later, I return to the original face.  All my educations didn't even help me, it doesn't matter.  Martial arts, medicine, nutrition, art, writing, the strippety strip, some odd jobs, a mean fish curry, etc... these skills are almost useless.  I never had to work to support myself, so I had a lot of free time to develop hobbies.

The secret to raising good kids is to make them learn for themselves.  When you give someone something free, you enable them.  When you teach them how to do it for themselves, you empower them.  And parents who don't love their children will ruin their children's psychology.

A mother should lift her son up, a father should enforce discipline.  It should not be the other way around.  This is why homosexuals and lesbians and transgenders and adoptive parents are all wrong people.  The family unit is the premise of society.  A man should be a strong king, but be merciful.  A woman should embody love and caring but be strong enough to preserve boundaries.  And children should not rebel against their own parents.  In the USA, it is a punk youth culture.  But in China, they follow the family tradition.  But you will find in the end, that you cannot change your genetics.  You will probably be the same height as your father, have the same talent, and work in the same profession.  A father who doesn't give his son a business to inherit is a bad father.  My father lost his mind 30 years ago, and became a bizarre madman fighting and fighting and never winning and never admitting defeat.  

I realize I am in a diminished state.  I can only do what I can do.  My educations didn't help me.  And my three hobbies of judo, music, and cooking are the only things I can monetize.  The great thing about knowledge is that it is power, and once you master a field, you can teach it to others and empower the youth.  I like teaching kids.

When you stay at home, you just wallow in your own delusions.  If you cannot socialize, you cannot work.  That is why autism is a kind of disability.  People with no guile can't succeed in business, because business is about deception not who is objectively better.  

I like playing guitar, cooking meals at home, and doing different combat sports.  I have experience in boxing, and judo and sambo and shootfighting.  I see Muay Thai as flailing bitches and BJJ as a poor derivitive of judo.  The more classical a martial art is, the more efficient a technique and the more it is based on brawling and competition the more it is just punk aggression.  That why I don't like MMA.  It is sloppy strikers vs sloppy grapplers.   You will learn someday that boxing is better than wrestling, and Kung Fu and Aikido is reality martial art.  Most street situations involve weapons, so nobody goes to the ground.  In a situation without weapons, the shoot immediately.  If you shoot on a man with a knife, he will just cut your throat.  

All martial arts were developed in Ancient Greece and they knew boxing is better than wrestling and MMA.  Pankration was essentially the pro wrestling of Ancient Greece.  And the Eastern people took the ball and ran with it.  The Chinese dont have the congential essence to create anything new.  They did not invent kung fu, buddhism, qi gong, computer engineering, the bible, or anything else.  Even TCM is loosely based on Ayurveda.  But since they are dutiful humble people, they borrow ideas from other cultures and take the ball and run with it.  China borrows from India, the same way British musicians borrowed rock n roll from southern blacks.  

So what I am saying is, I am coming to grips with reality.  I must accept where I am at.  I realize my parents didn't do the wrong things, but I must take responsibility for my actions.  Negligence is a crime, and corrupting a youth is a tragedy.  I can live in a diminished state until it is my ordained time.

You will learn some day that you cannot change your time of birth or death.  When you are born and die is a matter of fate.  But whether you are successful and happy and married and beloved is your own doing.  You have volition, you can take action.  

So since I mastered judo, music, and cooking, I can teach these skills to others.  I simply want to leave behind a legacy.  I know I have done some wrong and some good.  But all I want is vindication.  My favorite thing is playing guitar, and I cook some mean vegetarian food.  And I can always dream of the glory days at the dojo.  

So all is not lost.  I remember fondly all my high school teachers.  Most of all, I remember a good high school phys ed coach and a good music teacher.  And I gained some skills in art and writing.   Those were the days.  But I am not Al Bundy and I cannot live in the past.  I will not make any derogitory remark about Ed O'neil because he is blackbelt.  And I am blue belt, so he is more advanced in grappling.

I am a humble loser with a lot of talent.  I can live out my days in peace, and just be satisfied with what I have.  If I can't do self defense, I can pick up a shank.  If I can't get free sex, I can hire some help.  If I can't be a rockstar, I can play my tunes for myself.  Young people should learn to not give up.  If you can't do one thing, do something else.  But just don't give up.  If you can't do boxing, do kickboxing.  If you can't be a wrestler, be a judoka.  If you can't be a rockstar, play guitar at the church.  You are never out of the game until you are dead in the grave.  So as long as you are alive, you have a chance to win.  If you strive in a real way, in accordance with your talents in a realistic way, you will succeed eventually.  And in the end, you will learn that there is no success.  The meaning of life is simply to be happy and useful.

In conclusion, I just want to live a humble life, teach what I know, and live out my years in peace.  

Freedom and Immortality

This is the goal of all yogic practice.  The point of life is not to acquire more stuff or win the World Series.  You are going to die anyway.  You cannot take it with you when you go.  Life is like a song, it starts on the rootnote it goes through several changes, and it ends at the beginning.  It is for this reason that there is no getting anywhere in life.

I enjoy my life.  Had I not attained zen in 1986, I would not be here.  I won immortality and therefore, I am alive.  A man can live without a body, but a man cannot live without a spirit.  A human being is mind, body, spirit.  The body is reconstituted nutrition, the spirit is the animating force from God, and the mind cannot be undesrtood.  The fourth aspect is the emotions.

We meditate so we can achieve enlightenment.  Zen does not just mean meditation.  It means spiritual attainment.  When you achieve the moment of zen, you understand reality and are not caught up in rebirth anymore.  

The meaning of life is to be happy.  In this world, we are not happy.  And we do wrong things that make us less happy.  Coca Cola tastes sweet but it is essentially poison.  And meds taste acrid but heal us inwardly.

So everything is compensating from extreme yin to yang.  When you embody equilibrium, you embody balance and power.  When you are extremely yin or yang, you are erratic and unhappy.

So I am not intent on making more money, I want a better work/life balance.  I know I need more jobs to get more lapdances.  But I want simply to live a better life and die a better death.  The values of the world don't affect me, it means nothing to me.  If I died a penniless hobo, I would be happy and I was Surgeon General I would also be happy.

I want more but I am not intent on more.  I must simply work harder and get more results.  

But since I attained zen at such a young age, I can be content with myself.  In 1986, I attained kensho after learning the folly of violence.  Some Hispanic kid insulted me, I tackled him, got full mount on him, and bashed his head into the ground.  I was angry and full of rage.  I started kicking everyone on the playground and attacking people at will.  And then one Indian friend said to me 'you can't just go around kicking people!'  and at that, I attained kensho.

So the meaning of my life was realizing nonviolence is the only path to victory.  Aggression is wrong.  And doing nothing is also wrong.  All a man must do is do his duty and keep the wheel in motion.

I like the Beatles.  At the height of their fame, they went to India and learned Yoga.  In the 1960s, they were the most famous and popular people in the world, and even they realized fame and honor is nothing.  The spirit is worth more than the body.

So my life is my offering.  My lifestyle is my religion.  In Japan, there is no religion. There lifestyle is their faith, so they are not hypocrites.  They don't even like the zen monks in their black robes.  

I want to work and make more money and be a kind person.  I realize the devil has power over this world.  But since I am alive I must endure.  Graphic Design is a kind of career field.  I want to be more succesful.  It doesn't make you more happy, it just gives you more power and pleasure.

The message of this post is, the real accomplishment is zen, and worldiness is sin.  But since we are alive, we must balance between the spirit and the flesh.

Getting Less Ambitious

 I am learning to be less ambitious.  My college educations didn't help me that much.  From Acupuncture, I got one paying client, and from Graphic Design, I got one paying job so far.  Results don't matter.  Good people are poor and live humble lives.

My hobbies became my profession and my educations became my hobbies.  You learn by doing.  College is a type of scam where you take a loan, you get a fake education in fake principles not based on reality, and you graduate in student loan debt in hopes of recovering the investment.  I was brought up thinking a Jew must have a college degree.

I have been doing grappling and judo a long time.  It has been over 20 years.  20 years is a generation.  I am like Rumpelstiltzken waking up in a future generation.  But now I am the Master.

I know money is not everything.  It is worldly power and freedom, but any Hindu knows, money is simply our obligation in the world.  A spiritual man doesn't live for this world, but he does his duty because he must.  Going to work is liking going to a war.

My acupuncture degree didn't help me.  It is just theoretical knowledge.  My graphic design education was thorough and I learned slowly and gradually over the course of 2 or 3 years.  In acupuncture college, I was an A+ student, in graphic design I was a C+ student.  Studying and doing are two things.  You can be the best student and the worst at actually doing it, or you can be a mediocre student who never gives up on himself and eventually succeeds.  

I know I am the best graphic designer possible.  I have been studying art and mythology at my hometown library for over 30 years.  I started using sketchbooks in the 90s.  I was educated in high school in English and computers.  And I like being creative and socializing.  

But ultimately, I just want to have fun.  Life is about having fun.  I always enjoyed grappling of all kinds and realize it is all derived from Judo.  And I always liked music videos and saw how the Chinsy Beatles music was derived from the black music of the American south.  That is what the British Invasion was all about, British people playing black people's music for a virulently racist American white audience.  The Americans would not buy black people's records, but they would buy the same music from white people.  America is a racist country founded on slavery.

So the beat goes on and I continue.  I don't want to make more money and marry and have children.  Marriage is for children.  Dating is for having fun.  Prostitution is a part of life.  Most women do handjobs and footjobs and blowjobs for money.  The myth of the good girl is a myth.  By 15 or 16, most people are fucking and fighting and making money.  So the best part of life is between the ages of 8 and 15 when children are developing and learning as much as possible.  Once they start working and fucking, they are already corrupt.

I will live out my years in peace.  I realize the graphic design education was better than the acupuncture education because it is more in line with who I am.  I am a creative person not a doctor.  I am not mature enough to be a doctor.

Judo gave me a lot of joy.  I was undefeated for 15 years.  And I played guitar for 25 years, and got really good about 20 years ago.  For the past generation, I was the king of rock n roll in a time when music was commercial crap.  I liked Kurt Cobain and felt he ruined the world by committing suicide.  Only a coward dies leaving behind a wife and child.  He died in 1993, the Beatles released their 30 year reissue in 1994, and I started guitar lessons in 1995.  That was 25 years ago.  So for a quarter of a century, I have been a musician.

I need to get less ambitious.  My two educations didn't help me.  It is just a scam to make money.  If you want to be a businessman, learn psychology and military strategy, and above all learn how to socialize.  If you cannot socialize, you cannot work.  I just want to do my hobbies and live a less ambitious life.

If I was smart, I would study Psychology.  Every guy who has problems and is fairly intelligent studies psychology to gain greater insight into what is going on in his mind.  And those crazy bitches at mental health clinics all do porn on the evenings and weekends.  Reversal is the movement of the Tao.  If you are crazy learn psychology.  If you can't fight, get some judo instruction.  If you are frail, do bodybuilding.  If you are lonely, play a musical instrument.  We compensate for what we don't have.

When I was training boxing, my coach said to me 'I think Buddhist Psychology is right up your alley.'  But I wanted to be the heavyweight champion of the world and I was not mature.  Now that I mastered Judo and Graphic Design, I see that I should do something better.  Judo and Art are both for children.  The Japanese excel at Art and Wrestling because they are simple and childlike.  But I must go beyond childhood.

So I can be less ambitious but more fulfilled, but still have the desire to improve my position in the world.  I like helping people and teaching them.  If I could practice in a clinical setting, I could use all my knowledge of art, music, judo, diet, psychology, philosophy, sexology, etc...  A Psych worker is a kind of soothsayer giving sick people advice.  And I am all about Shamanic culture.

So I resolve to continue and keep striving.  The Corona Virus ruined America and all we can do is learn to cope.  I know I will survive.  I will just stay focused and just do what I can do.

Looks and Money

I feel compelled to write this.  Women these days are hard to please.  In America, they are very demanding and expect a lot out of a man.  They want looks and money.  If  man doesn't have a full head of hair, a six pack, a 6 inch cock, a 100,000 in the bank, drives a nice sports car, has a freakin day job, etc... he is not a contender.

I don't like high price women.  I feel all women are losers, and the best women are humble losers.  By nature, any man is better than any woman.  And there is no such thing as a transgender.  Amongst primitive creatures like Portuguese fighting fish, there is cases of males becoming females and females becoming males.  But this is amongst simple animals.

The mythology of Hinduism is based on science.  The first avatar was a simple turtle like creature in the primordial waters.  The last avatar will be Kalkin, the preserver of Truth.  Some say Buddha, the 8th avatar, was an evil incarnation of God who taught wrong religious views like no soul and no reality.

The meaning of life is simply to keep living.  If you want to die, you are a loser.  That is why suicide is considered a crime in the USA.  You are mudering yourself.  Sex is about carring on the genome.  Self Defense is about survival and victory.  Eating is about nourishing yourself.  The root chakra oversees food, sex, and aggression.  That is where you start.

But as you move put the chakras, you end in the crown chakra.  This governs enlightenment and being in touch with the universe.  

Women want looks and money.  Nobody gets free sex.  The reason why high school girls fuck for free is that they live in their parents home so they don't pay rent money.  The reason why children fight without weapons is because their hands are slow and they want to prove their better.  And kids listen to rock n roll because it excites them and makes them want to dance.

I don't like American women.  Most of them are overweight, they are fake looking, they are conceited, and they are deceptive.  In a society where you must hustle to make money, sex is a commodity, and the more beautiful you are the more valuable you are.

But I value different things in women.  I like sincerity, humility, honesty, self reliance, and courage.  These are not typical qualities in a woman.  Most women have no courage and are not honest.

I don't go to bars because that is not where the fun is.  The worst fighters, lovers, musicians, and chefs are at a bar.  I can beat anybody in any bar in new york city.  I am a better musician than anyone in current pop music.  I possess a ten inch cock.  And my home cooking is better than anything I ever tasted at a restaurant.  They use extremely low quality oils and salts in restaurants in order to maximize profit margins.

What I am trying to say is, Reversal is the Movement of the Tao.  People compensate for what they don't have.  In a society where you must be number one or nobody, you talk like you are number one but in your heart you know you are nobody.  This is called the Active compensation mechanism.  You try to pretend to be what you are not.  The reason why I never leave the house is because I don't like the world.  My home cooking is better than restaurant food.  I enjoy playing guitar better than going to a noisy nightclub.  I want peace and feel threatened by punk ass dudes in baggy pants with the hat backwards.  I make friends with anyone around me.  I am a quiet homebody.

I don't like the world.  I don't like most women.  I see no value in money.  I see the TV as being fake ass bullshit.  The world seems to be an illusion.  When you realize the world is an illusion, it doesnt affect you anymore.  When you become conscious, you can solve your problems.   

So I do not like American women.  If I visited Europe, women would approach me at the metro station.  European women are much more easy than American women.  And Christianity died in Europe in the mid 19th century.  They don't even pretend to have morality anymore.   You can see pornography on the newstands in France or Germany.  But America keeps its integrity, that is why America is better.

So I do not want to travel to Europe or Africa.  I just want to stay local and get to know my little corner of the world.  Long Island girls are all pretty good.  They are fit and toned but a bit overweight because they eat too many cinnabons.  But country will grow.

So I must learn to manipulate female psychology and win dates.  Most women are strippers and pornstars.  They just don't walk around saying it.  Most people over 18 have tact and restraint.

I love fighting and keep my integrity til judgement day.  The more danger there is, the more excitement there is.  Because crisis means opportunity.  When there is chaos, there is a chance to both win and lose.  So if you stay at home all day, you accomplish nothing, and if you go out and try, you are bound to win one out of ten times even if you are totally random.

So I will enjoy my home life and strive to improve my position outside the home.

Nature

The real religion is nature.  Any real Christian knows, God is Love.  God is not victory or salvation or wining or repentence.  God is Love.  We simply live to survive, and we want to make love all day long.

I want to win.  I want to find a wife and survive and bring forth seed into the world.  Yoga is based on science.  Science is simply studying nature.  God created Nature, Nature created us, so when we study nature, we study God.  You will never know all of what God knows.  You would be lucky if you knew 10%.

I love certain things.  I love music and Aikido and cooking and women and clothing and so forth.  Graphic Design and Copywriting are just job skills.  You are not defined by your work, it is simply something you do for survival.

Nature is about neutrality.  The etymology is similar.  It all comes from Neter which means Natural Law.  The Egyptians invented science and religion and knew both where just ideas that you speculate on.  Ideas don't work.  Arguing biblical Christianity vs Evolution is a waste of time.  Nobody was there at the beginning of Creation, so know one knows if the bible is 100% accurate or monkeys started walking and talking.

Obviously, evolution is based on a theory that one species can change into another.  And if you take the bible literally, life began with the fish and ended with Adam Kadmon.  The lowest creature is the fish, and the perfect man is the embodiment of Christ.  

There are many appelations of Jesus known in the real Christian faith.  Firstborn of Creation, King of the Jews, A Light to The Gentiles, New Adam, The Hero of History, etc...  Jesus is in reality the second God.  The Light is the real God.  The Light has consciousness and is totally benevolent.  It simply wants to expand.  God can only give and we can only receive.

But what the symbolism of the bible means, is that Jesus is not God incarnate and there is no trinity.  Jesus is the first most perfect creation, and in the beginning there was only the light and the dark.

So the meaning of life is love, and Jesus loves you, baby.  The light loves you even more.  

I am a religious man who loves food and sex and music and having fun.  I see religion not as a thing that burdens you, but that empowers you.  God is Love.  We simply want to love ourselves and survive.

So I keep doing work as duty and doing my hobbies as something I desire.  The my favorite thing is simply to sit down and play guitar.  I also get a kick out of Aikido.  And I cook two meals per day.  My life is rich, and i am not lacking anything.  So I continue.

P and B

This is something I learned which stands for 'pork and beans'.  It is the most humble, common dish, and yet, the most good.  This post will be about nutrtition.

The most humble, simple answer is always the best.  In nutrition, you do not need to overdo it.  Less is more.  That was the whole premise of my first book.  You get to be the master by doing less with more efficency, not flailing.  Flailing doesn't work.

Pork and Beans, chicken and rice, beans and cheese, cheese sandwich, are all things I make on a regular basis.  It is not hard to figure out diet.  It is not rocket science.  Nutrition is the first thing you should learn as a child.  Nutrition is not everything, but it is the first step.  The final step is spirituality, and between those two things you should get a job.

But back to nutrition.  The humble, simple thing is always best.  I seem to have mastered nutrition.  I started cooking about 17 years ago when I got into a situation where I gained a lot of weight and wanted to cure myself through diet.  I would go to the local library and take out books on Atkins diet, ethnic cuisine, and nutrition.  And over ten years or so, I imbibed, pardon the pun, a lot of knowledge about nutrition.  

It wasn't until I met Luke Cummo, a former UFC fighter who practices vegan nutrition that I learned how to help myself.  While I am not a strict vegan, I learned from him things that most people don't know.  Obviously, raw foods veganism is malnutrition.  But it is better to be underfed than overfed, and most people in America are overfed.  They eat too much, get sick, and go to the doctor to fix them.

This is obviously a flawed medical model.  If you don't eat too much, you don't get sick and then you can skip the trip to the doctor.  Get real.  Nutrition as medicine is taken seriously in India, but here it is not.  Because medicine is just a business.  

Open Market Economy seems to ruin everything.  At once, it allows for growth and competition and rivalry, but also, there is no moral compass.  The only requisite for doing something is, can I afford to?  Will I make a profit margin?  Am I making enough to cover costs?  There is no morality in business, and it seems, there is no limit to the evil men do.

So I produce both albums and books.  The music is just for fun and to pretend I am Chuck Berry.  But writing the books is my way of using my education to help people.  I cannot practice acupuncture in a clinical setting.  And massage is not my style.  But if I can educate the public on health and nutrition, then I have done my job.

So what I am trying to say is, less is more.  When you intentionally live simpler, you are happier than someone who overdoes it.  All this American food is low quality and just manipulates your evolutionary need for fat, sugar, and salt.  They are manipulating you to their advantage.

As the years go by, I want to write more nutrition books.  And in my personal life, I want to study about Mexican food.  I know a lot about Indian food, because Indian food is home food.  But I am ethnically a type of Latino and I want to know about my own culture.  Potatoes are boring.

So look out for my new book.  It is coming soon.

The Old Boxing vs MMA Debacle.

These combat sports are just showbusiness.  These guys know they are just athletes entertaining us.  But all men need entertainment at the end of the workday or workweek.  I like these combat sports.

If you notice, even amongst combat sports there is a racial divide.  The blacks and Latinos like boxing and the whites and Chinese like MMA.  But this is indicative of their racial characteristics.  Boxing is a fight with gloves on, MMA is self defense without weapons.  But self defense is for children.   Kids fight on the playground to see who is better.  They are boys, they want to prove they are better and humiliate you.

A real man know how to fight but wants peace.  That is what it means to be a peaceful warrior.  He doesn't go looking for a fight.

Both Boxing and MMA is ridiculous sports entertainment.  I think Boxing takes more skill but MMA is more about aggression and knowledge and integration of styles.  So both are interesting.  The Dominicans in the Bronx laugh at MMA, every MMA guy secretly admires boxing.

So the beat goes on and I continue.  

I went from shootfighting to boxing, and then went from judo to sambo.  I have an accurate opinion about sport and self defense.  I am not a green belt working on the brown belt syllabus.  Results mean nothing, I am a budo master.   Boxing is better than judo and the world does not need a more realistic combat sport.

The Ancient Greeks had three sports, boxing, wrestling, and MMA, which they called 'pankration'.  They also had weapons grappling which is not a sport.  Every ancient Greek knew boxing is better than wrestling and pankration is a kind of sports entertainment.  Essentially, MMA and pro wrestling is the same thing and it doesn't work.  The main thing in a fight is punching and trapping and weapons.

So I keep my eye on modern Boxing and MMA but moderate it.  The more I watch, the more angry I become.  This is gross entertainment and is no better than porno.  A cagefighter loves fighting, a pornstar loves fucking.  But this is not real.  

What the rise of MMA really means is, our culture is more permissive than ever and we are approaching the end times.  People felt boxing wasn't realistic enough and wrestling is too scholastic.  So we want a vicious beatdown in a cage to entertain ourselves at the bars on the weekends.  We are approaching the end times.

The more liberal a society becomes, the more close to extinction it becomes.  Hold on to morality.  It keeps you alive.  

I remember many things from early MMA. It wasn't just fighting, it was educational.  I saw karate blackbelts being dragged along by their hair across the mat by kickboxers.  I saw a kung fu master be beat down, I saw a boxer flat on his back with no gi.  This shit is ridiculous.  Self defense has to do with ego, so people inflate their ego thinking they can fight when the average 15 year old black kid can knock them out at will.

Don't inflate your ego.  Sport is reality.  If you can't spar, you can't fight.  A combat sport is a fight with rules, a streetfight is a fight without rules.  If you never fight with rules, you will never be able to fight without rules.  Sport leads to reality, and 85% of men are terrible athletes.  Most guys flail.

This is ridiculous.  Karate is about zen, it is not about being a tough guy.  A warrior wants peace.  Ueshiba, Kano, Oyama, Funakoshi, etc... were all religious men who wanted abundant peace.  If they were aggressive and bragadocious, they would have died young.  Embodying reality means embodying paradoxes.  A warrior wants peace and a punk is aggressive and confident.  And ultimately, which means in the end, punks rule the world and angry, aggressive warriors are poor living off of welfare.  There is no justice.

So all things end in the judeochristian bible.  Religion is not just the 'opiate of the masses'.  It is consolation for living in a distorted world ruled by the devil.  All that matters is the temple of the spirit.  Money, Women, Fame, Honor, Business, Media, and Politics is the devil's work.  You can have none of it and still live a good life.  But I want a bit of power and pleasure too.  

So I don't need to philosophize on combat vs self defense all the time.  When you need it, look up some boxing or MMA stuff.  Or look up your own bizarre fetish on Pornhub.  Porno and MMA is ruining a generation.  The Baby Boomers were about rock n roll and rebellion.  Generation X was about figuring yourself out.  The Millenials can't fight and can't make sweet love to a woman, because they are too dependent on technology.  I see no hope for the human race.

I realize the world is not the way it should be.  But I cannot do anything to save the world.  I can only live for myself and lessen my karmic debt.  So rock on, and stay woke as fuck.

What's My Motivation?

I keep asking myself why I write this blog.  What's my motivation?  So I will just drop it.  I am trying to promote myself and build a following.  I do not pay to use this blog, but neither does anyone pay me.  So I am an intern in my own business.

I have several income streams including music and books and graphic design and some government money.  But the key to making it in this economy is to diversify income streams.  And in addition, you should do continuing education and keep developing your skills.  The degree is just a qualification for the jobby job.

So my motivation is to aggrandize myself and razzle dazzle you.  I make most of my money from office work, but I see music as a form of expression and my books as a form of education of the public.  I am constantly turning thoughts into words and emotions into songs.  It is like alchemy.  

I know music and books is not that lucrative but I don't do if for the money.  I do it because I want to leave somthing to posterity.  The day job is to make the money and survive.  But life is more than just survival.  It is about business before pleasure.  You have to do the service before you get to enjoy yourself.

So I will keep doing the right thing to get the right thing.  The most important book I ever read was called the Baghavad Gita.  It empowered me with a philosophy and worldview that makes a lot of sense.  And this is what gave me the belief in myself that I was meant to win.

So everything I accomplished so far was based on my philosophical beliefs.  I mastered a lot of things like boxing and judo and guitar and drawing and writing and grocery shopping and negotiating a lap dance.  But the main thing was that I believed in myself and didn't give up.

So I will continue and my ultimate desire is to be vindicated in the end.  

The West is in Decline

I am sad to see it go.  Even in my small narrow view of martial arts and music, I see the world is declining.  We are approaching judgement day.  I started guitar and grappling in the 90s and I see the world is not improving, it is degrading.

Physically, we are bigger and fluffier and faster than ever, but morally and spiritually, we are losing our edge.  Boxing is more classy than MMA.  Blues music is more classy than Porno.  This generation is addicted to Porno and MMA and it is ruining them.  It is not just entertainment.  One Greek philosopher said, 'A society can be judged by how it spends it's leisure time.'  This society is debased.

In an open market economy, you must be sneaky and learn the game quick.  In a situation where it is every man for himself, learn to survive.  By the age of 18, you are no longer a minor and can be kicked out of your parent's home to fend for yourself.  Grow up fast not slow.

The west is in decline and we are approaching Judgement Day.  I like showbusiness and feel I could have been somebody.  But I never served in the military or police, never was a famous musician or actor.  Things didn't turn out the way I thought they would.

I wrote about this in a previous post about how things went from Muhammed Ali to Mike Tyson and John Lennon to Kurt Cobain.  Even in 20 or 30 years things quickly degrade.  So the JudeoChristian worldview is accurate, every generation gets worse not better and you cannot be greater than your father.  You may be physically better, but you are morally more crapulent.

So I am heavy in heart and look forward to death.  I can enjoy my last few years on earth and be in peace.  I like music and poetry and zen and morality.  I also like the basic things like food and sex and self defense.  Those are basic things common to all humans. 

I am now working on a new album which I will have ready by Labor Day.  So I must do it all this month.  And I want to publish another book by the end of 2020.  My album will be called, 'Rhythm and Blues World Service' and the book will be called, 'Health, Strength, and Self Defense'.  My music is about preserving the old rhythm and blues and my books are about wholistic health and nutrition. 

So I am resigned in the face of death.  It doesn't matter to me.  There is no success.  If we are all mortal, then God is better than any man who ever lived.  And I think I am the best man.

So life is not perfect, but I must accept what is.  I endured a lot, experienced a lot, and feel better than ever.  I can't do self defense, but I can do combat and survival.  I can't get free sex, but I can go to the strippety strip.  And I play my own version of rock n roll and dream of things that could have been. 

When you are in high school, it is all about free sex and self defense and rock n roll.  And then you go to college and transition in to adult life.  And then you are in the real world, and the real world is all about money and women.  Money is worldly value and women love money. 

So I must fight the good fight til I'm done.

The Daily Grind

The meaning of life is found in the every day activities.  The mundane is the extraordinary.  Do not go looking for the fun in exotic places or the nightclub or the whorehouse.  If you are happy in your mind, you are happy, and the external circumstances do not matter.

I see this life as pointless.  I do not even like the world, but since I do not want to die, I simply must enjoy the here and now.  I know that when you are dead you are free from the constraints of physicality.  In our youth, we are strong and able and think it will last forever.  But in your late twenties, you peak, you explode, and by 30 you are already over the hill.  The happiest year of most people's lives is the age of 33, because at that age you realize lust and violence is not the best part of life.  Lust is joyous and violence is exciting but that is not real happiness.  The real meaning of life is desire or love.  You do what you love until you can no longer stand up.

I desire music and art and poetry.  I am very creative.  But nobody owes me free shit.  Get real.  The whole premise of society is I help you and you help me and we all win.  It is not beat everyone down, aggrandize yourself and then I am Cassius.  Muhammed Ali knew he was a jokey humble athlete who couldn't really fight.  But there was no gap between what he could say and what he could do.  So he was a sports hero.

This shit is ridiculous.  I simply want to enjoy the daily grind.  I am not results oriented.  The result of life is death.  I am not intent on dying a hero.  When you are dead, you are equally dead as Ghandi and Hitler and everything in between. 

I know I am the best man in the worst position, and all the people of the world are not happy and not spiritual.  I see the intangible and they see the tangible, so they have more stuff but I am more happy.  And the meaning of life is simply to be happy and useful.  You don't get a gold medal.

I like art and music and being creative.  Sexual energy and creative energy is the same thing.  You can sit around masturbating all day or you can do something.  Do not masturbate all day.  That is an epic waste. I know there are some masturbation addicts out there reading this blog.

I am content with my life.  I simply want to live a good life and die a contented death.  All the dreams of my youth were just vanity and daydreaming.  Boxing, porno, and music is just showbusiness.  I am not there anymore.  But now that I am middle aged, I can dedicate my time to things that matter.  I like art, I like Aikido, and I like nutrition.  My skill and knowledge of nutrtition is uncanny.  I am the Master.

I see art as my vocation, Aikido as my religion, and nutrition as my gift to humanity.  If you do not know the basic of nutrition by age 15, they are going to use you.  That is what my two books on Amazon are about.  Living a good lifestyle.  Every Hindu knows nutrition is the first thing you learn.  I think my books are great and contain a lot of knowledge condensed into a few pages. 

You can write the same themes over and over again in 300 pages or you can just say it simply and plainly.  My first book was 19 pages long and my second was 35 pages long.  I am happy I am a published author.  Writing about health and nutrition is like being a doctor without practicing acupuncture or massage or any kind of intervention.  That is just a business.

So the beat goes on and I am content.  I am working on monetizing what I do.  I want to get more graphic design jobs, publish books, and practice martial arts and conditioning.  I like Aikido now more than Judo or Sambo or the wrestlemania crackerjacks in the cage.  My life is rich and I am content.  Money is not the issue. 

Requiem for a Cruiserweight

When I was young, I had high hopes.  I thought I would be a boxer and pornstar and a rock n roll musician.  But now that I am past 40 years of age, I realize show business is a big cosmic joke.

The media is lying you.  I was taught at SUNY Stonybrook that when you watch something in the media, ask yourself, why are they saying this?  What's their motivation?  What's in it for them?

The media is fake.  Hollywood, MMA, boxing, porno, and the music industry is extremely corrupt.  I still like some blues music, some porno, and some boxing.  But when I see it, I know it is fake, so it cannot affect me inwardly.  Hollywood and MMA is a joke and it insults my intelligence.  The actors these days are more handsome but cannot iterate a word.  They speak like a an autistic boy who ran low on his prescription of Ritalin.

MMA is for ass clowns.  If I jumped into the cage, I might kill a man with those four ounce little shits on.  There is a reason why they wear small gloves.  They possess less punching power.  The best backgrounds for MMA include freestyle wresling and no gi grappling.  But these skills are almost useless in a weapons situation or a surprise attack.  Stealth and Weapons is combat.  Self Defense is for children.  Grow up, man.

Hollywood is a joke.  If you take one bullet in the arm, you fall down crying even if you don't die.  You take one bullet to the chest or head, you are dead in a flash.  So I do not want to see Bruce Willis in an army outfit with fake M-16 in his hand cutting down a thousand enemy soldiers while his black sidekick gets killed in the first scene.  This is obviously fake shit and it insults me.

This post is about the disillusionment of youth.  You must realize that by 18 you are no longer a child and must fend for yourself.  Your parents can literally kick you out at age 18.  When I was 18, I was having a ball, and then when I turned 19, I lost my true love and became a heartbroken fool.  So I have spent over half my life in vain.

But when I discovered art, my whole life turned around.  I read a book about Haitan artists and one of them recanted his story.  He said, that at age 35, he considered his life a failure.  And then he discovered art.  And this turned his life around.

I was in my late 30s early 40s when I discovered art.  I spent the whole second half of 2018 doing line art.  Art is a type of mental health therapy and with it, I reduced my med regimen by over half.  I went from five meds to two meds and reduced the doses.  Most artists are crazy.  Most musicians are sex fiends.  Most poets cannot hold a day job.  Creative people have a lot of sexual energy. 

So I see art as my salvation.  I finished TCM school in 2001 and got one patient in my entire career.  I graduated graphic design school in 2015 and the past five years have been great.  Things really took off in 2017 when I got a mentor who encouraged me to put my stuff out there and see what it gets me.  I put my music and books and designs out there and it worked.  I started small and now i am growing.

I want to de-emphasize music and copywriting and focus on more graphic design jobs and more books on nutrition.  You cannot succeed if you are not socially valued.  Show business is about popularity.  It has nothing to do with merit.  The best musicians are not in rock n roll.  The best guys are not in Hollywood.  The best fighers are not in MMA.  Get over fiction and learn to love reality.  Reality means the objective truth.  Ultimately, man does not live in objective reality.  He only perceives the world through his senses and recreates the world in his brain.  So none of us can say this is the real truth.  God is in objective reality, and we are by nature subjective and flawed.  When you know you don't know, then you know.  And when you attack, you create an opening for counter attack.

My training in judo and kickboxing and aikido taught me many moral parables.  In judo, there is only attack and counter attack.  If you stand still, they Osoto you down immediately.  You either attack or counterattack, and counterattack almost always wins.  The best judoka are strong and stable on their fate and have the reflexes of a jungle cat. Judo is a martial art but can be used as physical educaiton because it is healthy, makes you strong, and teaches you principles of success.

So the best experiences in my life were training sambo and San Da, learning art, playing music in public, and moving out of my mother's house.  What I am trying to say is, you develop after birth and death is not the end.  Your spirit existed before your birth and will live on after your death.  The afterlife does not matter and it doesn't matter if Hinduism or Buddhism or Jainism has the more accurate view of the afterlife.

The meaning of life is victory.  Winning is everything.  You must win a date, you must win a friend, you must win a job, you must win a ham sandwhich, you must win an immortal soul, you must win salvation.  Good will win in the end.  So I have no fear.

There is a quote from Taoist philosophy.  'Birth and Death are decreed.  Wealth and Honor rest with God.'  This means, when you are born and when you die is a matter of fate.  Whether you are successful, and honored and rich and married and have kids is up to you.  Your life is up to you, but when you are born and when you die, is not up to you.  So do not lament your birth or fear your death.  That is cowardly.  Do not worry about birth and death, worry about living an honorable life and leaving something to posterity.

I internalized a lot of bullshit in my life, and now I am more wiser.  With this wisdom, I can use it to help others  Before I am dead in the grave, I will do many artworks, write many books, teach many sutdents, and have some fun while I am at it.

So I do not lament my misspent youth.  Everything happens for a reason, and ulitmately everything happens for the good.