Hell Mouth

I am interested in Latin culture.  There are many authors in Latin America that are translated into English.  Most famous of all were Castaneda and Ruiz.  There is western yoga like there is Eastern yoga.  Aztec Yoga is all about Sex and the Sacred.

Lust is not the most evil thing in life.  On the contrary, it is the best.  Love and Lust are two things, but you need both to be a good human being.  The light is love, and the flesh is lust.  So love is an emotion, and sex is just gratification of the body.

But as long as we are alive, we need to balance between love and lust.  You have a body, so you need to eat and sleep and bathe and all that.  And we have a spirit so we need love and emotions and wisdom and knowledge.

God is Love, and the Devil is Lust.  But don't pretend like you are not lusty.  We are animals.  Life begins at the root chakra with food, sex, and aggression.  And as you go up the spine, it ends with the crown chakra and enlightenment and Oneness.  So kundalini yoga is the real self realization.  It is becoming your full potential.

So when I see porn, I don't feel ashamed.  Every woman has sex for money.  By 15 or 16, women realize that their vagina is a commodity.  A woman can get something with her sexuality.  Nobody pays men for sex.  Even male strippers are just pretty boys doing a fantasy business.  So women have more value than men.

The aesthetics of porn is all about what we secretly value.  The main thing, no kidding, is the penis next to the woman's face.  These two things are the most beautiful things in the world.  And the ejaculation is called, 'the moneyshot' because that is what people pay to see.  The most ridiculous moneyshot is in the woman's mouth.

So sex is just about lust and expression of rage.  We are animals who think.  First thing is self defense, eating, and fucking.  If you can't do anything else, just sit around at home cooking and eating.  The root chakra is the animal part of the human being, but a human being can go beyond the animal kingdom.  That is why any human birth is fortunate.  We are better than dogs or monkeys or whatever.

I find the Latinas and Asians the most interesting.  Latin women are great at sex and very lusty.  Asian women are submissive and servile.  I am not a big fan of white and black and all that.

This post is not about porn or lust.  It is about what we see in porn.  There is an aesthetic to it.  And between porn and art is erotica.  Erotica is art about lust and sex.  

What I am trying to say is, lust is a part of life and you have to accept you are part beast before you move on to the higher realms.

Less is More

The weekend is approaching and I realize a new lesson every day.  I helped a friend do grocery shopping ai got a week's supply of groceries, and i got a few bucks in my pocket.  So I learn that you help people and they help you.  But if you stay at home philosophizing and scheming and plotting revenge, you are an impotent loser.  My nuclear family taught me wrong ideas and wrong values, and I had no one to compare to, so I thought I was one of them.

Less is more.  When you do the bare minimum, and are content with it, you get everything you need, and then you get free time and money to do whatever the hell you want.  Solomon observed this is in the bible.. Anythign beyond the bare minimum goes to someone else.  I have met a handful of friends who possess this wisdom and humility.  You do not get more stuff for doing more things.  The more you go, the less you know.  Just doing a simple life of a simple man is better than being president or being a CEO or being a rockstar.

I feel content with my life, and how I am living.  But I know if I want more women and guitars and food and more trips to the Halal restaurant, I need more money.  I am reluctant to get a real job, because I am one lazy motherfucker.  But I am starting to see what is real.  Money is power, and if I want power, I need the money.

Judo is power on a more physical level.  Work is power on a more societal level.  I have several skills i can use, including sport culture, art, music, and nutrition.  These are all aspects of shamanic culture.  In Mexcio, the healer is the leader too.  And the ideal leader is man-womanish.  White dudes laugh at the idea of an effiminate man woman.  But Latinos understand the concept of the androgyn male.  Androgyny makes you more sexy and more complete.  I notice all the rockstars from past to present were androygnous.  Beginnig Elvis, Chuck Berry, Paul McCartney, Jim Morisson, Freddie Mercury, down to all the modern guys.  Balance between masuclinity and feminity does not make you a freak, it makes you powerful because harmony is power.  Light contains 7 colors that add up to white.  When you add colors on paper, it adds up to black.  So I work with digital cartoons not solid medium.  

So I am content but willing to do more to get more.  I met many wounded warriors, many good losers, many humble champions, and many talented failures.  There are also arrogant conceited winners and rich men who think they are rick because they are better.  But there are many factors in who wins and who loses.

So if I want to live and die in peace, I must get on my bike and ride.

Show and Tell

 I think I would take this fine morning to show off one of my artworks.  In recent months, I stopped drawing and sketching new artworks and just began recoloring old line art in new ways.  I need a new scanner.  But until that time, I will make do with what I have.  I see art as being more lucrative than rock n roll music in this cultural mileu.  Nobody listens to rock n roll anymore.  It is a historic genre that died out in the late 1970s.  I guess folks today aint got the same soul.

So here is my artwork of the day.

This is an old artwork I recolored and added new typography to.  Obviously, boxing is a retarded sport for people who want to pugilize each other.  It is a legal, socially sanctioned way for alpha males to express rage and not go to the house of detention.  I find it oddly fascinating and yet I don't like it.

This design is based on a quick sketch I did on a drawing pad, scanned into the computer, and digitally colored in Photoshop.  Since I have not mastered digital rendering techniques yet, there is no cel-shading yet, so the colors are saturated with no sense of light and dark.  So the art is very bright and pure and makes you happy.  It is like an elevated children's art.

I visit the subject of pugilism a lot because it is ridiculous and yet makes me happy.  I know the features of this boxer are distorted, but smart people don't do boxing.  They get jobs.  The colors are simple, the lines are thick and done over with a marker, and the typography is just beginner level.  But I constantly aim to improve my skills.

So I should switch my focus of this blog from crazy political, racial ideas and my theories about combat sports and the history of rock n roll music and get back to promoting my art career.  I have written volumes on this blog and have given away books of ideas.  If I was smart, I would be more sneaky.  But I do not wish to give away my position.  I am incognito.

So look out for more art from me.

Action Reaction

Every day, I learn new things.  Life is not static.  It is not about one thing and one thing only.  I observe and reflect and grow.  I do not stop learning.  I helped a friend do grocery shopping and he helped me back by hooking me up with some food.  So I learned that Kano's axioms are right.

Mutual Welfare and Benefit is the premise of society.  I help you and you help me back.  And if I hurt you, you have a right to hurt me.  But if I do nothing for nobody, nobody helps me.  This is called equity.  The universe was founded on equity.  

I have plans for the future.  I want more jobs in the graphic design field, I want to publish more books on nutrition, and I plan on writing a comic book or illustrated book for children.  But these things do not happen easy.  You must dream up an idea, plan it, do prelimary sketches, and accomplish the goal by a series of acts.  I have the tools to do it.  But I must get active.  And the more I do, the more I get.

So I must put behind me the past of music and combat sports and all the girls I wish I had dated in high school and all that jazz.  Porno and MMA is bad entertainment.  I stayed childlike for too long.  One brother helped me learn judo.  The other is helping me learn to grind a dayjob.  Judo is survival on a more primitive level, work is survival on a more sophisticated level.

So Maslow was right.  You go from low to high.  Music is based on the bass.  Health is based on nutrition.  All religious knowledge is rooted in the bible.  You start at the base and you work up to the noble.  But I took a long time to learn.

So my future is in graphic design and nutrition books and I plan on learning cartooning and storyboarding and ultimately creating digital comics for young people.  Kids between the age of 15 and 30 are punks exploring themselves.  You must get them when they are young.  By age 30 or 35, you are spent like an arrow.  And then life is only slowly dying.  A Hindu plans his life according to the ideal lifespan.  In Hindu philosophy a man should live 100 years.  But this is just an ideal.  Some live 80, some live 60, some die in youth.  Some die in their teenage years, which is a tragedy.  I do not need longevity.  I simply want to live and die in peace.

So I will do what I must do before I am done.

Getting Less Ambitious

 I am learning to be less ambitious.  My college educations didn't help me that much.  From Acupuncture, I got one paying client, and from Graphic Design, I got one paying job so far.  Results don't matter.  Good people are poor and live humble lives.

My hobbies became my profession and my educations became my hobbies.  You learn by doing.  College is a type of scam where you take a loan, you get a fake education in fake principles not based on reality, and you graduate in student loan debt in hopes of recovering the investment.  I was brought up thinking a Jew must have a college degree.

I have been doing grappling and judo a long time.  It has been over 20 years.  20 years is a generation.  I am like Rumpelstiltzken waking up in a future generation.  But now I am the Master.

I know money is not everything.  It is worldly power and freedom, but any Hindu knows, money is simply our obligation in the world.  A spiritual man doesn't live for this world, but he does his duty because he must.  Going to work is liking going to a war.

My acupuncture degree didn't help me.  It is just theoretical knowledge.  My graphic design education was thorough and I learned slowly and gradually over the course of 2 or 3 years.  In acupuncture college, I was an A+ student, in graphic design I was a C+ student.  Studying and doing are two things.  You can be the best student and the worst at actually doing it, or you can be a mediocre student who never gives up on himself and eventually succeeds.  

I know I am the best graphic designer possible.  I have been studying art and mythology at my hometown library for over 30 years.  I started using sketchbooks in the 90s.  I was educated in high school in English and computers.  And I like being creative and socializing.  

But ultimately, I just want to have fun.  Life is about having fun.  I always enjoyed grappling of all kinds and realize it is all derived from Judo.  And I always liked music videos and saw how the Chinsy Beatles music was derived from the black music of the American south.  That is what the British Invasion was all about, British people playing black people's music for a virulently racist American white audience.  The Americans would not buy black people's records, but they would buy the same music from white people.  America is a racist country founded on slavery.

So the beat goes on and I continue.  I don't want to make more money and marry and have children.  Marriage is for children.  Dating is for having fun.  Prostitution is a part of life.  Most women do handjobs and footjobs and blowjobs for money.  The myth of the good girl is a myth.  By 15 or 16, most people are fucking and fighting and making money.  So the best part of life is between the ages of 8 and 15 when children are developing and learning as much as possible.  Once they start working and fucking, they are already corrupt.

I will live out my years in peace.  I realize the graphic design education was better than the acupuncture education because it is more in line with who I am.  I am a creative person not a doctor.  I am not mature enough to be a doctor.

Judo gave me a lot of joy.  I was undefeated for 15 years.  And I played guitar for 25 years, and got really good about 20 years ago.  For the past generation, I was the king of rock n roll in a time when music was commercial crap.  I liked Kurt Cobain and felt he ruined the world by committing suicide.  Only a coward dies leaving behind a wife and child.  He died in 1993, the Beatles released their 30 year reissue in 1994, and I started guitar lessons in 1995.  That was 25 years ago.  So for a quarter of a century, I have been a musician.

I need to get less ambitious.  My two educations didn't help me.  It is just a scam to make money.  If you want to be a businessman, learn psychology and military strategy, and above all learn how to socialize.  If you cannot socialize, you cannot work.  I just want to do my hobbies and live a less ambitious life.

If I was smart, I would study Psychology.  Every guy who has problems and is fairly intelligent studies psychology to gain greater insight into what is going on in his mind.  And those crazy bitches at mental health clinics all do porn on the evenings and weekends.  Reversal is the movement of the Tao.  If you are crazy learn psychology.  If you can't fight, get some judo instruction.  If you are frail, do bodybuilding.  If you are lonely, play a musical instrument.  We compensate for what we don't have.

When I was training boxing, my coach said to me 'I think Buddhist Psychology is right up your alley.'  But I wanted to be the heavyweight champion of the world and I was not mature.  Now that I mastered Judo and Graphic Design, I see that I should do something better.  Judo and Art are both for children.  The Japanese excel at Art and Wrestling because they are simple and childlike.  But I must go beyond childhood.

So I can be less ambitious but more fulfilled, but still have the desire to improve my position in the world.  I like helping people and teaching them.  If I could practice in a clinical setting, I could use all my knowledge of art, music, judo, diet, psychology, philosophy, sexology, etc...  A Psych worker is a kind of soothsayer giving sick people advice.  And I am all about Shamanic culture.

So I resolve to continue and keep striving.  The Corona Virus ruined America and all we can do is learn to cope.  I know I will survive.  I will just stay focused and just do what I can do.

The Daily Grind

The meaning of life is found in the every day activities.  The mundane is the extraordinary.  Do not go looking for the fun in exotic places or the nightclub or the whorehouse.  If you are happy in your mind, you are happy, and the external circumstances do not matter.

I see this life as pointless.  I do not even like the world, but since I do not want to die, I simply must enjoy the here and now.  I know that when you are dead you are free from the constraints of physicality.  In our youth, we are strong and able and think it will last forever.  But in your late twenties, you peak, you explode, and by 30 you are already over the hill.  The happiest year of most people's lives is the age of 33, because at that age you realize lust and violence is not the best part of life.  Lust is joyous and violence is exciting but that is not real happiness.  The real meaning of life is desire or love.  You do what you love until you can no longer stand up.

I desire music and art and poetry.  I am very creative.  But nobody owes me free shit.  Get real.  The whole premise of society is I help you and you help me and we all win.  It is not beat everyone down, aggrandize yourself and then I am Cassius.  Muhammed Ali knew he was a jokey humble athlete who couldn't really fight.  But there was no gap between what he could say and what he could do.  So he was a sports hero.

This shit is ridiculous.  I simply want to enjoy the daily grind.  I am not results oriented.  The result of life is death.  I am not intent on dying a hero.  When you are dead, you are equally dead as Ghandi and Hitler and everything in between. 

I know I am the best man in the worst position, and all the people of the world are not happy and not spiritual.  I see the intangible and they see the tangible, so they have more stuff but I am more happy.  And the meaning of life is simply to be happy and useful.  You don't get a gold medal.

I like art and music and being creative.  Sexual energy and creative energy is the same thing.  You can sit around masturbating all day or you can do something.  Do not masturbate all day.  That is an epic waste. I know there are some masturbation addicts out there reading this blog.

I am content with my life.  I simply want to live a good life and die a contented death.  All the dreams of my youth were just vanity and daydreaming.  Boxing, porno, and music is just showbusiness.  I am not there anymore.  But now that I am middle aged, I can dedicate my time to things that matter.  I like art, I like Aikido, and I like nutrition.  My skill and knowledge of nutrtition is uncanny.  I am the Master.

I see art as my vocation, Aikido as my religion, and nutrition as my gift to humanity.  If you do not know the basic of nutrition by age 15, they are going to use you.  That is what my two books on Amazon are about.  Living a good lifestyle.  Every Hindu knows nutrition is the first thing you learn.  I think my books are great and contain a lot of knowledge condensed into a few pages. 

You can write the same themes over and over again in 300 pages or you can just say it simply and plainly.  My first book was 19 pages long and my second was 35 pages long.  I am happy I am a published author.  Writing about health and nutrition is like being a doctor without practicing acupuncture or massage or any kind of intervention.  That is just a business.

So the beat goes on and I am content.  I am working on monetizing what I do.  I want to get more graphic design jobs, publish books, and practice martial arts and conditioning.  I like Aikido now more than Judo or Sambo or the wrestlemania crackerjacks in the cage.  My life is rich and I am content.  Money is not the issue. 

Requiem for a Cruiserweight

When I was young, I had high hopes.  I thought I would be a boxer and pornstar and a rock n roll musician.  But now that I am past 40 years of age, I realize show business is a big cosmic joke.

The media is lying you.  I was taught at SUNY Stonybrook that when you watch something in the media, ask yourself, why are they saying this?  What's their motivation?  What's in it for them?

The media is fake.  Hollywood, MMA, boxing, porno, and the music industry is extremely corrupt.  I still like some blues music, some porno, and some boxing.  But when I see it, I know it is fake, so it cannot affect me inwardly.  Hollywood and MMA is a joke and it insults my intelligence.  The actors these days are more handsome but cannot iterate a word.  They speak like a an autistic boy who ran low on his prescription of Ritalin.

MMA is for ass clowns.  If I jumped into the cage, I might kill a man with those four ounce little shits on.  There is a reason why they wear small gloves.  They possess less punching power.  The best backgrounds for MMA include freestyle wresling and no gi grappling.  But these skills are almost useless in a weapons situation or a surprise attack.  Stealth and Weapons is combat.  Self Defense is for children.  Grow up, man.

Hollywood is a joke.  If you take one bullet in the arm, you fall down crying even if you don't die.  You take one bullet to the chest or head, you are dead in a flash.  So I do not want to see Bruce Willis in an army outfit with fake M-16 in his hand cutting down a thousand enemy soldiers while his black sidekick gets killed in the first scene.  This is obviously fake shit and it insults me.

This post is about the disillusionment of youth.  You must realize that by 18 you are no longer a child and must fend for yourself.  Your parents can literally kick you out at age 18.  When I was 18, I was having a ball, and then when I turned 19, I lost my true love and became a heartbroken fool.  So I have spent over half my life in vain.

But when I discovered art, my whole life turned around.  I read a book about Haitan artists and one of them recanted his story.  He said, that at age 35, he considered his life a failure.  And then he discovered art.  And this turned his life around.

I was in my late 30s early 40s when I discovered art.  I spent the whole second half of 2018 doing line art.  Art is a type of mental health therapy and with it, I reduced my med regimen by over half.  I went from five meds to two meds and reduced the doses.  Most artists are crazy.  Most musicians are sex fiends.  Most poets cannot hold a day job.  Creative people have a lot of sexual energy. 

So I see art as my salvation.  I finished TCM school in 2001 and got one patient in my entire career.  I graduated graphic design school in 2015 and the past five years have been great.  Things really took off in 2017 when I got a mentor who encouraged me to put my stuff out there and see what it gets me.  I put my music and books and designs out there and it worked.  I started small and now i am growing.

I want to de-emphasize music and copywriting and focus on more graphic design jobs and more books on nutrition.  You cannot succeed if you are not socially valued.  Show business is about popularity.  It has nothing to do with merit.  The best musicians are not in rock n roll.  The best guys are not in Hollywood.  The best fighers are not in MMA.  Get over fiction and learn to love reality.  Reality means the objective truth.  Ultimately, man does not live in objective reality.  He only perceives the world through his senses and recreates the world in his brain.  So none of us can say this is the real truth.  God is in objective reality, and we are by nature subjective and flawed.  When you know you don't know, then you know.  And when you attack, you create an opening for counter attack.

My training in judo and kickboxing and aikido taught me many moral parables.  In judo, there is only attack and counter attack.  If you stand still, they Osoto you down immediately.  You either attack or counterattack, and counterattack almost always wins.  The best judoka are strong and stable on their fate and have the reflexes of a jungle cat. Judo is a martial art but can be used as physical educaiton because it is healthy, makes you strong, and teaches you principles of success.

So the best experiences in my life were training sambo and San Da, learning art, playing music in public, and moving out of my mother's house.  What I am trying to say is, you develop after birth and death is not the end.  Your spirit existed before your birth and will live on after your death.  The afterlife does not matter and it doesn't matter if Hinduism or Buddhism or Jainism has the more accurate view of the afterlife.

The meaning of life is victory.  Winning is everything.  You must win a date, you must win a friend, you must win a job, you must win a ham sandwhich, you must win an immortal soul, you must win salvation.  Good will win in the end.  So I have no fear.

There is a quote from Taoist philosophy.  'Birth and Death are decreed.  Wealth and Honor rest with God.'  This means, when you are born and when you die is a matter of fate.  Whether you are successful, and honored and rich and married and have kids is up to you.  Your life is up to you, but when you are born and when you die, is not up to you.  So do not lament your birth or fear your death.  That is cowardly.  Do not worry about birth and death, worry about living an honorable life and leaving something to posterity.

I internalized a lot of bullshit in my life, and now I am more wiser.  With this wisdom, I can use it to help others  Before I am dead in the grave, I will do many artworks, write many books, teach many sutdents, and have some fun while I am at it.

So I do not lament my misspent youth.  Everything happens for a reason, and ulitmately everything happens for the good.

The Great Thing About Aikido

There are a panopoly of styles to choose from when selecting a martial arts school.  Since the advent of MMA, karate has lost popularity.  It went from being the master to being the champion.

But anyone who understands MMA knows it is based on wrestling with elements of Muay Thai and Submission Grappling.  Most succesful MMA guys have freestyle wrestling backgrounds.

But this is kids stuff.  I don't like MMA and the bully beatdowns.  I have been involved in Shootfighting, judo, and Combat Sambo since 1998.  And I am tired of it.  Self Defense is a mythology.  Nobody after high school or college age brawls to see who is better.  Self Defense and kumite is by nature just an exercise.  Don't take yourself so seriously.

When you are 30 or older, but still interested in survival and combat, take up Aikido or Tai Chi.  Anything real has a competitive element to it.  If you are too dangerous to spar, you don't the timing and reflexes of a trained fighter.

There is a kind of Aikido that involves randori or free-fighting.  It is called Tomiki Aikido.  I was fortunate enough to choose a judo school that also teaches karate, jujutsu, and tomiki aikido.  The Japanese martial arts is like a religion not just about being tough or brave.

Now that I am older, I realize violence is wrong.  I learned that young, fell back into depravity, only to return to my original face.  Tomiki Aikido is the best thing for me.

In Tomiki Aikido, there is a randori element to training.  It is the ideal martial art for the police, since it involves trapping, pinning, and defenses against stick, knife, and gun.  Karate is for children, and MMA is for brawlers.  I am not interested in MMA.

Judo was a big part of my life.  It looks cool, it is useful, and it is like wrestlemania.  But now that I am over 40, I would be beat by young guys with less talent.

So the great thing about Aikido is, even a slow, weak, crippled man can do it and learn to survive.  Eastern culture is not about morality or the bible or judgments of right and wrong.  It is simply about nature, and in nature, animals raise their children in hopes they will survive and carry on the genome.

So there is morality in nature, but we don't see it.  Just educating and feeding your children is morality.  Not do this don't do that.  That is hypocrisy.  Every Asian knows, there is no morality in food or sex.  Some eat pork bacon and some don't.  Some are celibate, some are monogamous, and some are polyamorous.  By nature, morality makes you a hypocrite.

So I admire the culture of China and Japan.  It all originated in India, but the Chinese and Indian are radically different people.  I like Indian food because i am more a western man than an eastern man, but I admire aspects of Chinese culture. 

So I want to train judo and Aikido again and shut up.  I have talent in matwork and Aikido.  I feel USA Judo is not strong enough because we are amateurs competing against pros.  But the country will grow.

So the thing about Aikido is, you learn to distinguish combat from self defense.  Self Defense or brawling is for kids.  Combat means stealth and weapons, and is useful for survival.  You must survive, all ideas about the afterlife are hogwash.  Live for this life.  Food is good, sex is good, music is good, art is good, etc...

I dig Asian women and see them as the most delicate and refined.  Black girls are the opposite.  They are strong and sexy.  Every black dude secretly admires Bruce Lee, Chinese food, and the massage parlors.  I aint lying.

So I will continue my training in judo and Aikido and be happy with it.

Work and Work Out

Life in America is very simple.  You work a day job, you work out on the evenings, and you date on the weekends.  Friday and Saturday night is most appropriate to going to a bar or nightclub and socializing or dating your girlfriend or wife.

Of course, this lifestyle is ridiculous.  In Europe and Israel, people are much more loose and liberal and do what they feel.  America is a con game and we are being duped by our own government.  Nobody says when you must work and when you must play and when you must exercise.  This society is based on the plantation system and encourages conformity and submissiveness.

An intelligent man can see that this whole society is about slavery.  Without hard, physical black and mestizo men, we wouldn't be able to cultivate land in a temperate zone.  Man is not meant to live in a temperate zone.  He is meant to live in a semi tropical environment like Florida or Mexico or Jamaica.  Our main foodstuff should be fruit and rice.

So your whole life in America is eating coffee and eggs and bacon for breakfast to give you the strength to exchange 8 hours for some pesos and then go home, eat dinner, and raise your kids on the evenings and weekends.  This is not a real life.

But since I live in America, and have done so for the past 40 years, I must now learn to conform to the system in order to beat the system.  That is the only way to beat it.

My degree in graphic design will help me.  It helps me in work, in designing book covers, in designing album covers, in increasing my knowledge of computers.  The real ability to survive is the ability to adapt.  It is not about being faster or stronger or better.  The Olympics is just an ideal.  Sport is not reality.  Survival is nothing like wrestling or judo.  It is more like Tai Chi, in Kung fu, there are no winners and losers, there is only the quick and the dead.

So I must learn to survive an evil society.  I can work, and I can work out, and I can date on the weekends.  Even if my work is in graphic design or copywriting, I can use the money to get yoga classes and access to a pool, which keeps me rich and healthy, and then I can go out on the weekends to a strip joint and talk to strippers.  Sex workers are women just like any other woman.  1 out of 10 of them, are saints who are just honest women forced into a debaucherous business.  One out of 10 of anything is great.  This is called the Bell Curve.  When you write ten songs, 8 are average, 1 is terrible, and 1 is an exceptional song.  8 out of 10 of anything is just average.

So I am the 1 out of 10 disabled geniuses.  I am in the ranks of Nikola Tesla, Van Gogh, and Robert Johnson.  All three struggled in life, were dependent on others in life, but after death, became known as great geniuses who contributed to society.  Van Gogh invented impressionism, Robert Johnson invented the Delta Blues as we know it, and Tesla invented AC electric current, the radio, the television, and various other kinds of labor saving technology.  We would not have the modern era without Tesla.  And he gave away his knowledge for free, and died alone, with a pigeon as his true love.

There is nothing right about the world.  It simply an ammoral fight for resources.  Philosophy and religion is useless.  Tao is not religion or philosophy, it is observing what works in nature and what will help you survive.  So I am neither religious nor philosophical.  That would be a waste of time.  I simple observe what works and do what works.

So what works is increasing income streams and therefore increasing my money situation so I can exercise on the evenings and go to strippers on the weekend.  I see nothing ammoral about strippers.  All women get money for sex.  Free love is a myth.  So is self defense.  And rock n roll is a musical genre for children.  Hip Hop and Goth Metal are descendant versions of rock n roll.  I see through the illusion, so it doesn't affect me.  It is fake.

So living in a fake culture doesnt affect me.  Jesus was an outcast of his time too.  So I am in good company.  When you are opposite of the world, you are spiritual.  And when you embody the world's values, you are miserable and lusty and violent.  So I choose to buck the trend and simply survive in the world  but not assimilate to their cultural values.

Racially, I am an Irish Mestizo with a black grandmother.  That means I am mostly not black.  I am mostly a half blood in the old parlaiance.  I am neither black nor latino.  I was born in Central America, somehow made it to South Africa, was sold into slavery, went from Africa to Israel to New York.  So  I was a slave in the 20th and 21st centuries.  That is not right.  I don't have the niggardly characteristics of a slave.  I have the noble qualities of a prince.

So what I must do is learn to survive on my own.  I prefer to be alone most times.  I can socialize if I have to, but I don't go looking for compaionship.  The main thing in my life, is work, work out, date on the weekends.  Even if I live an atypical life, it is my life, and I am content with it.  So I keep living, and I keep improving. 

So watch out for more designs, more illustrated books, more albums, and more blog posts.  I can't be stopped until it is my time to go.  I do not care about popularity.  I just want to be saved and save others in the process.  This is called Mahayana Buddhism.  You get enlightened to get happy, and then you teach the process to others so they can be happy too.

Get happy.

Think and Grow Rich

I have plans for a career.  I see that copywriting and design are lucrative fields in this cultural milieu.  The internet changed the way people do business.  Most businesses and jobs involve the computer.  If you do not know English and Computers, you will fall behind.  I knew English and computers from a young age.  I grew up on long island, new york, and I was educated.  So I am not helpless.

I know I can survive the current economy.  I know I am a survivor.  I am like Sun Tzu on steroids. 

It went from Hindu philosophy to boxing to judo to graphic design to right here and now.  My life is not over.  I am still conscious, so I am not dead.

It turns out boxing is better than judo, and nutrition is better than TCM.  Judo is kids stuff. TCM is useless if you don't change your diet.  Both the western and eastern doctor is a kind of businessman.  I am by nature not trying to rob you.  I want mutual welfare and benefit.  I will not rob you.

I see my career in graphic design as a service to humanity.  When I show up to work, it is like showing up to a battle.  But nobody will get shanked.  It is simply a battle to do the right thing, not to kill all my enemies and watch them die.

So I will think and grow rich.  Even if I have to only work part time and live on a lean budget, I can do it.  Because I know how to survive.  I am neither the smartest nor the most beautiful nor the biggest, but I have the most capacity to distinguish between right and wrong.  So I choose what is beneficial and discard the useless.

Besides office jobs, I want to write illustrated books.  Something between comic books and real books.  Books with illustrations.  This was popular in the late 19th century and early 20th century.  There was an explosion of creativity before the coming of the modern era.  By the mid 1950s, boxing and music became more popular.  Maybe the modern era was a mistake?

I am trying to bring it back to the old school.  Music is a hobby.  Grappling is for kids. Sparring and Nutrition is something you learn in youth and you move on.  Since I am not esteemed as a high man, I cannot function as a doctor or healer. 

But through the agency of the computer, I can use text and graphics to teach children how to be healthy and strong.  My aim is to educate the youth.  But you don't have to do it in a classroom.  Even a fitness teacher or a bodybuilder is a kind of teacher.  Through illustrated books, I can educate the youth on how to be strong and healthy and survive a rigged economy.

So my next book will be titled, 'Health, Strength, and Self Defense.'  It will be similar to the two previous books I wrote which are available on Amazon.  I plan on writing a book on diet, self defense, conditioning, saving money, living lean, and enjoying your time on earth.  It is in the same vein as Sport and Physical Culture and Taoist Nutrition.  The first book was a general primer on TCM.  Taoist Nutrition was a general cookbook on how to make Chinese food.  This third book will be my opus.  It will be a real service to humanity. 

I see Americans as being pathetic losers.  Every year goes by, I get more fit and healthy, and they get more fat and disabled and sick and rounded shoulders.  Sitting infront of a computer, using a smartphone all day, not interacting face to face, not walking, eating too much pizza and lattes, etc.. is not a recipe for a healthy life.  It is the opposite.  I'll teach your ass.

When you buck the trend, you are in the right.  When you go with the herd, you are sheep.  Nietzsche was the original philosophical rebel.  He was trying to say nobody does Christianity right, so go back to Hellenic lifestyle and live a full life.  Greeks invented culture but Hebrews invented morality.  These were two great innovations in world culture.

So I will think and grow rich.  I am talented in copywriting and design.  Both are aspects of the advertising business.  One is the English aspect the other is the art aspect.  If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense.  I want the payday, so I can get the love. 

So I have plans moving forward.  I hope my book is ready by the end of the year.  By the end of the summer would be even better.  I will write the whole manuscript and do the illustrations and prepare for publishing.  I see Americans as being boys compared to men.  Instead of defeating you, I will ift you up.  Each one Teach one.  I know things you don't know, and you have stuff you can teach me.  This is the premise of civilization.  Every man helping the other, so we all survive.

I see myself as the best man in America, and Donald Trump as the worst.  But most people think he is a hero and I am born loser.  But I take the opposite stance.  But you don't have to believe me.  So I will do my thing and see who is vindicated in the end. 

Above all, I just want to have fun and hurt no one.  Even if I go down dying, I am happy as a loon.  And that is all that matters.

Once Again Back Is The Incredible...

I decided I won't give up on this blog completely.  I just won't give away free advice or ideas and work for free.  My future involves graphic design, some books and albums, and getting involved in sports again.

This is July 4 weekend.  We celebrate the birthday of the United States of America.  Obviously, it's a sin to be rich.  But I am indebted to this country, because it is better than being poor in other countries.  Poor in the USA is like rich in other countries.  It is possible to live in the USA and not assimilate to American culture.

Lots of people do this.  What I like best about American culture is mostly the pop art and music which comes from the poor and downtrodden.  I most of all like rock n roll music and comic books.  I feel I was destined for showbusiness.  But even if this never happens, I don't care.  There is no success.

In my youth, I mastered Hindu philosophy and Kodokan Judo.  I am not a beginner.  I am both a healer with a philosophical mindset and a takedown expert.  This philosophy of being a saint soldier empowers me to do what I want to do.

I know we are all going to die.  The purpose of life is simply to have fun and exist.  I was brainwashed by an evil family with wrong ideas.  There are few good Jews, and I have not met one authentic Christian.  But I see Vedanta, or Yogic philosophy, as having the capacity to civilize the gentiles.  Philosophy doesn't work in a cage brawl.  But Hindu Philosophy is not about philosophy.  It is about being courageous in both love and war.  I avoid confrontation and seek out love.  I could rise to honor if I had to, but I want to live in peace.  I just want to have fun and find friends and lovers.

So this July 4, before you throw another shrimp on the barbie, or scarf down another hot dog, think and reflect on how you can be a better person.  The point of life is not to acquire stuff or to win anything.  It is simply to be happy and useful.

On that note, I will look forward to getting more graphic design jobs, writing more illustrated books, and even play some music here and there.  I am glad I am here and not in Israel or Africa or South America.  The real leader of the free world is now Europe and Asia.  America is falling behind.  But I can take advantage of this situation and eek out an existence.

Darwin knew that he was full of bologna.  He once said, 'it is neither the strongest nor the most intelligent that survives, but the most adaptable to change.'  That means, strength and intelligence and beauty is almost useless.. The main thing in surviving is the ability to choose between right and wrong and go where the best chances for survival are.  That is why the Chinese are the most successful people in the USA.  They are neither the most beautiful, the most strong, nor the most intelligent.  But they can observe what works, and they cling to what works and discard what doesn't.  So they win. 

All eastern philosophy and culture arises from Indian thought.  But the Chinese took the ball and ran with it.  And then the Japanese preserved the original Chan Buddhism in its original form which they call Zen. 

Japan does business, warfare, and dating similar to America.  But they got more pinnache and style and spirit.  So Japan is growing, and America is sinking.  The reason is, Japan did not abandon faith.  They incorporate a more realistic faith into their lifestyle, and don't argue Christianity vs Evolution vs Veganism vs Gay rights vs Donald Trump is a loser.  Their lifestyle is their faith.  Every aspect of life is part of their irreverent yet spiritual culture. 

So no matter what you do or don't do, philosophy is part of your life.  It is not a useless academic subject.  It can literally be the difference between comiting suicide and living one more day.

Don't Give It Away For Free

I know I am doing wrong with this blog.  While it is growing, and I am getting a name as a designer and copywriter, I have not monetized this blog, so I am essentially giving away ideas for free.

If I want to succeed, I need to monetize what I do.  That means, get paid for your services.  In any business, you start working for free, and then you start charging for what you do.  It is similar to the business model of the crack dealer.  He gives you free samples, then you get addicted, then you cannot live without his product, then he starts charging you, and then he has a customer for life.

I must learn to be a skillful crack dealer.  But not literally.  My music is pretty darn good.  I have produced 6 official albums and over 100 unique songs.  Just my albums feature over 35 songs.  They are all high quality and feature sensitive songwriting and skillful use of rhythm guitar.  I should be rich, but I am not.  Because I am too generous, lack business savvy, and want to help the world.

By nature, business is not a charity act.  It is warfare.  I am serving you, and you renumerate me with money.  I want to make music and get paid for it.  Streams and Downloads is the lowest way to make money with music.  If you want to make money with music, you must get paying gigs, monetize your YouTube channel, get syncing and licensing deals, do merchandise and poster art, and teach guitar lessons.  What I am saying is that music is a lot like other businesses in the modern era.  You must diversify income streams.

Right now, I only have two income streams from music, and they have not paid out yet.  I have made some money in books and blogs and copywriting and designs.  But this is not where my heart is.  I do not belong in an office.  I belong in showbusiness, because I have the looks and talent for it.  But in reality, there is no justice in this world, and you never get what you really deserve.

So I will balance between hustling for money and doing what I really love.  Music and poetry is what I really love.  I see my college educations as a waste.  I studied for nothing and ultimately got nothing.  It is when you do something out of desire, a little bit every day, day in and day out, that you get what you want.  That is the secret to success and the teaching of Taoism.  Your life is simply the daily practice.  Your job is what you can see yourself doing every day, day in and day out, for the rest of your life. 

I saw a meme on Facebook that said, 'do your hobbies long enough, and they become your profession'.  I have done music for 25 years, I have done martial arts for 22 years, although I started wrestling in junior high school.  My record does not matter.  I am not results driven.  I started young, and never gave up.  So over many years, I developed skill and technique.

Now that I am older, judo and tai chi are no longer relevant.  Music is all I have.  And ultimately, it is all I want.  I love the feeling of performing for people and being a clown.  It is like imitating Chuck Berry, except I am not in it to fool you and make a million dollars.  I just want to make you happy and be loved.

So I will balance between what I do for love and what I do for money.  I will stop posting in this blog so often, because I do not want to give my stuff away for free.  I am aware people are reading this blog and stealing my ideas.  I will never run out of ideas.  The more you use creativity, the better it gets.  You cannot exhaust creativity.  But if you work for free, you are a slave.  I am tired of being a slave.  So watch out for music and books and dayjobs and dates and nights out on the town.  I am not a free service.  You must pay me for what I do.

The whole premise of a civilized society is mutual welfare and benefit.  If one is only giving and one is only receiving, someone is being used.  Love and Business and Friendship is a two way street.  Life is all about giving and receiving.  So Kabbalah wins again.  God gives to us, we receive, and our job is simply to give and receive all day long.  So West same stupid as the East.

I want to make love all day long, and get paid for it.  I am not giving away free shit.  Love is a two way street.  So watch out for more creative stuff from Lior Avni.  I am both a musician and an author, and I have a degree in graphic design.  So I consider myself a Creative Professional.  I will work until I die.

So don't look on this blog as often.  I want to work in silence and just show people the results.  I am planning a new album out by end of summer and a new book out by end of the year.  I am also looking for jobs.  So Peace, and be well.

The Gospel

I know religion makes you less popular in this current cultural milieu, but frankly, I don't give a damn.

Christianity is not a mythology.  The bible is not just some book.  Yes, not all of it is historically accurate.  But it is not written by God.  God does not have a hand, a pen, a book, nor the desire to be known.  He doesn't write.  Men write.  The bible is inspired scripture, and there are even some scriptures not included in the official modern bible, including The Book of Enoch, which is probably the most important book in the world.

I am not saying become a devout Christian and leave the world.  Don't even convert to the Jehovah's Witness religion.  I am saying, both the bible and meditation can help you lead a better life with less suffering and more success.  Even a simple black dude who reads the bible and prays and puts the principles into action can succeed according to his talent.

The Hebrew Scriptures are not just mythology or folklore.  They contain myths, and poems, and wise sayings, and history, and law, and ethics, and dietary laws, and laws of hygiene.  The Jewish tradition is rich.  But it lacks something.  They don't talk about Judgement Day and the conclusion of this system of things.  If this system had a beginning, it will have an end too.  Every beginning has an end.  This is simple logic. 

The whole story of the bible can be summarized as Paradise Lost.  LIfe began in an Idyllic Paradise, and we acquired sin and fell.  The devil rules the world, and each subsequent generation gets worse not better.  So the only hope for the downtrodden and oppressed is Christianity.  I believe we are in the end times.  I cannot say exactly when it will end, but this is obviously the most crapulent generation ever.  The internet and smartphone ruined my life, and it ruined yours too.

There are more fake jobs, less social interaction, people get less exercise, they use dating sites to find girlfriends.  People are addicted to pornography.  Technology ruins everything, because it makes you dependent on the technology.  So when you are given something, you are enabled, and when you learn to do it for yourself, you gain strength.

I know how to draw by hand and how to play an acoustic guitar fingerstyle.  I have old school skills in a time when most people have no real skills.  The musicians these days have so much technical virtuousity and speed in their fingers, but they got no rhythm and soul.  So they produce crappy music.  Over 90% of modern musicians suck.  In art, if you don't learn to draw by hand first, you will not be a great artist.  Every great artist, up to Van Gogh learned art by drawing by hand first.  Van Gogh's drawings were phenomenal and I admire them.  He died penniless, and was only known to posterity.

So the Christian worldview is right.  When you look at the liberal media, all you see is veganism, and homosexuality, and transgender rights, and bashing white people and calling Donald Trump a loser.  But this is opposite.  The world is too liberal.  If you keep your integrity til Judgement Day, you will not be destroyed.  The main feature of a good person is integrity.  They refuse to do evil.  Some can't do exceptional works of goodness.  But as long as you don't harm the innocent, you will not be punished. 

I tie this in with my career as such.  I will continue doing art and music.  But I will infuse judeochristian concepts in my cartoons and songs.  There is Voodoo in art and there is a genre called the Gospel Blues.  So you can use creativity as a form of worship.  Most people don't do Christianity right.  They do Churchianity.  They show up to Church on Sunday in their finest clothing and they go through the motions and they socialize but they are not kind, forgiving, humble people.  So I don't need to go to Church.  I need the bible, prayer, meditation, diet and exercise, and above all, art and music.  When you create, you are using sexual energy to create something new. 

Don't sit around masturbating to Pornhub all day.  You will waste your life.  Moderate your ejaculations  Save some of that creative energy for art and music and poetry.  The Gospel is, good will win in the end.  The Israelite slaves will know freedom.  And the Masters of War will be crushed.

It turns out, the media is fake.  The best fighters are not in MMA.  The best lovers are not in Porno.  The best looking guys are not in Hollywood.  Those guys are gay drug users who rape children and worship the devil.  Boxing is a fair contest, but is not realistic self defense.  It is just entertainment.  When it comes down to it, the best musician are not in pop music.  They are in the church.  And they never get rich nor famous.  I am both a musician and I am quite handsome and athletic.  But I am neither rich nor famous.  Because there is no justice in this world.  Success is not based on who is fitter or better or has more talent.  It is based on guile and deception and stealth.  That is why Anglo Americans and Europeans are the richest people, because they understand military tactics, which is based on stealth.  You don't get more for being the better man, you get less.  There is no justice.

But in this conclusion of this system of things, there is hope in the resurrection.  I am becoming more Christian and realize it is the best faith for a reason.  All the concepts seem true.  But there is something beyond prayer and scriptures.  These are just the basic tools of religion.  But you go to start somewhere. 

So the gospel is, good will win in the end.  It only appears weak and slow and vulnerable.  But good men have no fear.  So I will sing my song and draw my picture and live in hope.  Meanwhile, I can enjoy earthly women and eat lacto ovo vegetarian food.  I might even eat some ceviche every now and then.  Life is good.  It could be a lot worse.

People should know there is nothing right about the world.  But if this evil world had a beginning, it will have an end to.  And that should be a comfort for good people.

A New Thing

This is an artwork I recolored today and added some text.  It was originally an interpretation of a Roy Lichtenstein artwork I saw in a book about his career.  I like the way he elevated comic book art to high art through clever use of humor and aesthetics.

Here it is below:

Sunrise with Text

This is a reworking of an old art design with a brief poem or title on it.  Within the frame says, "Another Day Approaches as the Sun Rises'.  It also has the title of the artwork in the bottom right corner of the work. 

My life is getting more quiet as I age.  I concentrate on music, aikido, cooking, swimming, and dating women in a low socioeconomic bracket.  But I find time for art and like to recolor old artworks as a kind of mental and emotional therapy towards myself.  It's good for me.  

The secret to success is to do a little bit every day, and never give up on yourself.  Where there is effort, there is always results.

The Birth of Tragedy

In my life, I can do both music and art and not concentrate on money or fame or women.  I don't need results, I need happiness, contentment, productivity, and a sense of accomplishment. 

I know I have been doing music for 25 years and art for 4 years or so.  I graduated Art school in mid 2015 and started using Photoshop in 2017 to digitally color my drawings.

I don't need to choose between art and music.  I can do both.  Ultimately, I enjoy music more.  Rhythm and blues is the music of the slaves, and is in touch with the tragedy of life.  Art is more like a hobby to me that supplements what I do as a musician.  But art is a vital hobby, and neglecting it is a big mistake.

I also did shootfighting and judo most of my adult life, and judo leads to the Gendai Budo, which leads to Aikido.  The word 'Aikido' literally means 'the way to harmonize the spirit'.  It is not just wrestling with weapons or pinning people face down.  It is a system of training your mind, body, and spirit in the mastery of the self.  The good Aikido man can win without a fight, and if forced into a physical confrontation, wins without harming anyone.  Fighting against multiple opponents is a myth.  Aikido is weapons grappling the way Judo is the original sport grappling.  In Japan, there is a form of Aikido that uses randori or free-fighting.  It is called Tomiki Aikido.

Tomiki was a Japanese man who trained with Jigoro Kano and had a black belt in judo.  He incorporated some of Kano's training methods into his Aikido teaching and formed a unique variant of Aikido.  Sparring and competition is not real fighting, it is a training method for building timing and reflexes in a martial artist.  Jigoro Kano was a huge innovator when he invented Judo.  It is an eastern combat sport with a live method of winning and losing.  In that way, it is more similar to boxing and wrestling and less similar to kung fu or tai chi.

Aikido is not just self defense, it is a method of training the spirit.  A real human being wants to avoid violence at all costs, and if forced to defend himself, do as little damage to both parties as possible.

So Music, Aikido, and Art are important activities to me.  And I use the word activity because hobby is a word that implies it is just for fun. 

Nietzsche wrote a book called, 'The Birth of Tragedy' in which he compares Art and Music.  He equated art with Apollo and music with Dionysus.  Art is about beauty, light, splendor, youth, and innocence, Music is dark, moody, intangible, erotic, emotional, and has to be experienced.  So it is fair to equate art with Apollo the God of Light and music with Dionysus, the dying God of Ritual Madness and Ecstasy. 

I like all manners of creative expression, and now that I am older, physical performance is declining.  So I am getting more creative.  I like playing guitar, singing, watching music videos, using Spotify, and even looking at photos of famous musicians.  There is a visual element to music, because human beings are primarily visual.  The musician has to be attractive, photography is a big part of music, albums need cover art, and even music can be learned visually by memorizing chords and scales and then later developing your ear. 

So I prefer music over art.  But most of all, I like the lifestyle of a Zen yogi.  You start in health and you end in spirituality.  Nutrition should be the first thing you teach a child, attaining kensho and being free from rebirth is the ultimate goal of life.  Between health and spirituality, you should master something.  A skill is a vocation, and if you take 20 years to master a skill, you can be very successful and famous.  I've done music for over 25 years and grappling for over 22 years.  So my education did not help me, but my hobbies did. 

But what really helped me most was what I did first.  I attained kensho, and I attained freedom from rebirth and immortality of the spirit.  You don't have to believe me when you read this, you don't even need to understand this.  Just don't assume I am wrong or crazy. 

When I die, I will attain bliss.  That is something better than going to heaven.  But regardless of whether I am alive or dead, I am happy, and this is the most important thing.  In a world of suffering people, I am happy, and this is a huge accomplishment.  So I don't need more money or more women.

Nietzsche was a brilliant mind, and from his work, Psychology was born.  I also draw inspiration from Nietzsche, but look at him as someone who was extremely gifted but also extremely flawed.  He didn't believe in God, angels, morality, reincarnation, enlightenment, or a purpose to life.  That is what Psychology, Medicine, Science, and the West is lacking.  This is a big flaw, so Psychology has a big flaw.  You can't acquire faith.  It can't be bought either.  You are either empowered with faith or you are not.

So say what thou will, Nietzsche had a lot of insight and both art and music is part of a healthy, sane, and fulfilled life.

Back in the Saddle with Art Again

I am both an artist and musician.  I've also mastered some other things in my life.  But between art and music, I think my art has more potential.  In music, you have to be able to play fast, uptempo songs, perform infront of large audiences, spend time in bars and nightclubs, and generally do a lot of drugs.

Maybe the life of an artist is more up my alley.  I can always play acoustic guitar as a hobby. 

Today is Sunday and as I write this, it is still early morning.  I did an artwork today, quickly from pencil drawing to line art to scan to digitally colored design.  It is a simple nature scene of a mountain by a stream. 

The reason it came out well is because I used a thick Sharpie marker to ink it, the way I did between July 2018 and December 2018 when my best and original artworks were done. This was a time of rapid mental health recovery and spiritual awakening.  Art can be a mental health therapy and a form of spiritual discovery.  I especially like Voodoo in art, and exploration of the Black Israelite faith.

So here is today's design.  I will show it below:

Mountain by Water

This is a simple nature scene with a mountain by a body of water.  The mountain shouldn't really be there, by itself infront of some bushes and trees with rolling dunes behind it.  But this is art, and in art you can create things that don't really exist.

It has a certain style to it, and the thicker lines adds rustic nicety to it.  I hope to get back into art with a passion and leave behind music recordings and controversial writings behind for a while.  I have five albums and two books online right now and none of them are selling.  If I develop my art, it may lead to something real.

Self Defense without Weapons

The main thing in self defense is punching and pinning.  Wrestling and Judo as done in America is good self defense training.  Collegiate wrestling is a more civilized version of catch wrestling and Kodokan Judo is a more civilized version of jujutsu. 

Collegiate wrestling began at the beginning of the twentieth century when American scholastic educators saw the value of self defense for children.  Fair fighting as a sport has value to young men who are fit, aggressive, and competitive.  Self defense is for children.

Kodokan Judo is more than physical education.  It is more than an eastern combat sport or jacket wrestling.  And there is more to it than high amplitude throws.  There is also ground wrestling, or matwork, which is comprised of pin, choke, and armlock.  Collegiate wrestling and matwork is what Americans excel at.  Americans are the best grapplers.

There are other factors in self defense, like punching, kicking, leg submissions, and weapons tactics.  In reality, boxers are better athletes than wrestlers and grapplers.  BJJ is an attempt to hybridize wrestling and judo.  Sambo is also a twentieth century system that attempts to hydridize wrestling and judo. 

What I am trying to say is, sport is reality.  A sportive match is not a streetfight, but if you are too dangerous to spar, you are delusional and just talking out of ego and pride.  Athletes are fighters, and you have to be a champion of something to teach self defense.  Boxing, wrestling, judo, sambo, BJJ, are all great sports that teach you self defense, confidence, mental toughness, fitness, a lifestyle of being a winner, and how to recover from loss.  In real sport, there are no undefeated champions.

I know I spent way too much time training Judo and Sambo and not enough training boxing.  There is economic renumeration if you win in boxing, the best judo and sambo players are amateur athletes who become coaches and teachers.  We live in a results driven society not a high minded idealistic society.  The average pro boxer is a millionare, the best judoka or sambist is a poor athletics coach.

So I didn't live right.  I wasted my athletic potential, because I listened to parents who wanted to protect me, had different culutral values because they are a different race than me, and see boxing as low brow entertainment. 

There is nothing wrong with boxing.  It is a civilized fight, a fight with gloves on.  Obviously, in self defense, you need to know how to punch in every range not just from a distance.  But boxing is a lifestyle of toughness, pride, fitness, and survival.  Boxing is great.  I wish more people were into the sport where I am from.  It seems boxing is less popular and Muay Thai and MMA is more popular here, because that is what they see on TV.

But ultimately, self defense is for children.  Grown men don't spar and wrestle and grapple to see who is objectively better.  Grown men do combat, which means stealth and weapons.  They fight dirty, they surprise you, they shank you, they shoot you down, etc...  Being better doesn't matter to an evil man.  You could be a world champion wrestler and not know real combat, and you could be a terrible athlete and still know how to kill people without them knowing it.  This is where morality comes in.

What is really better, being a tough, fit, handsome athletics champion, or a dirty criminal who is ugly and stupid and despises knowledge?  America is a society of thieves and everyone knows self defense and combat from an early age.  They live to fight, everything in America is based on competition.  If they can't beat you in a fair fight, they will beat you in an unfair fight.  They just want to beat you.

In reality, there is more than enough food and technology and water for everyone on the planet and then some.  But the resources are not distributed fairly.  This is because of politics, economics, and racism.  We don't live in a perfect world.  God does not rule the world, the devil does.  The system of things is ruled by the devil and there is nothing fair in this world.

In a perfect world based on merit, I would be a millionaire musician teaching Combat SAMBO and Aikido to eager students who see me as a Budo master.  Student has become the master.  I started guitar lessons in 1995 and I started shootfighting lessons in 1998.  That is over twenty years each of music and martial arts.  Shootfighting is the original MMA, and combines elements of karate, Muay Thai, Catch Wrestling, and Aikido.  Shootfighting is not well known like SAMBO and BJJ because there is no big marketing push for it, and no one really wants to fight.  Fighting is for children.

So I know where I'm at and know the world is not the way it should be.  Theoretically, I am a handsome entertainer and a budo master.  But now that I am past 40, physically slower and older and injured, I will probably not be a martial arts instructor.  And music is not a high percentage way to make money these days.  There are more musicians and fewer people making money from it.  But I am talented and I enjoy writing my own songs.

So all I can say in my life is I mastered creative expression and physical performance.  Money, power, and popularity are results, and God is not results driven.  American society is results driven and doesn't judge you on how morally good you are.  So America is an abomination to God. 

As time moves on and I approach old age and death, I know I did what I could.  I developed myself, reached my full potential, and mastered more than one or two things in life.  Most people are average and master nothing in their life.  When I die, people will mourn for a great musician and a great grappler.  I am a meritorious man.

So in conclusion, self defense is about sport, and the best sport is boxing.  Obviously, a boxing match is not a streetfight.  It is a civilized punching bout.  A boxer needs to crosstrain grappling and weapons techniques to be a complete master of self defense.  But now that I am older, past my prime, I don't like fighting and combat.  I want peace.  I want wine, woman, and song, and the best thing in my life is the music.  Art serves as a fun hobby and an adjunct to my music career.  So as I age, physical performance diminishes in value and creativity rises in value to me.  In my life, I learned my lessons.  Monogamy is the discipline for success, and the meaning of life is to be happy and useful.  If you want to be happy and die with contentment, be content with things, be productive and useful to others, and take a wife and be faithful.  That is all.

Women from Coast to Coast

I've really missed out on a lot.  This essay will be about love and marriage.

Obviously, most people are having more sex than ever, having more relationships than ever, marrying more often, and divorcing more often.  This leaves us with more single mothers, more fatherless boys, and more orphans.

The family unit is the nucleus of society.  Every family needs a father figure, a mother, children, and even peripheral family members like aunts and uncles who can't work outside the home but are still productive and useful.  Not everyone can work a day job, the government owes you basic income if you can't work a part time or full time job.  You are not a freeloader if you can't work.

I also believe a government owes you socialist medicine and education, but that is the topic of a different post. 

The main thing in relationships is to have meaningful ones.  Teenagers are lusty and young men want multiple lovers.  But as you age, you learn some things about women.  In some ways they are all the same and have many common characteristics, but in some ways, each one is unique.  Find the one with the right amount of looks, money, character, personality, and humility.  Women want the same thing.  To them, upward mobility is a factor, because women are weaker and need to rely on men for support.  Even a rich powerful female attorney wants to date up not down.  Hypergamy is part of female psychology.  Women want to move up in a relationship not down.  You need looks and money to get a girl, and ultimately, money is more important.  The more money you have, the more they forgive your deficiency of looks.

I am good looking but in the lowest socioeconomic class.  So I must use my looks and knowledge and potential to find a mate.  I don't want a lot of sleazy hookups but I don't want to rush into marriage either.  I want to have several long term relationships until I find the one to settle down with.  At my age, I can't be too picky, time is running out. 

There are different characteristics to different types of women.  White women are the most desirable, and they know this, and want a high level of looks and money.  Black women are largely considered the least desirable, and use their wiles to deceive men into staying and know best what it is to suffer.  Latinas are very lusty and fiery but also aren't loyal, because they are so hypersexual.  I don't know much about Native American women, because I've met so few.  But I know about Jewish women and Asian women.

First of all, there is a tremendous correlation between Jews and Asians.  The Jews are an Asiatic race.  I like both Jewish and Asian women, but find Jewish women are more high minded, want long term relationships, and expect more out of the man.  Asian women are loyal, forgiving, humble, and submissive.  I like Asian women the best.

So I will date Asian women and try to get to know one.  I can't be too picky, I am middle aged by now and I missed out on my 20s and 30s.  I am good looking and fit for my age, but there are younger men with more hair and a six pack of abs.  And these girls aint loyal.  I need to get serious about dating and marriage before I waste my entire life.

I know I will die and I don't have much time.  The average man lives 75 years.  Some live 60 some live 100.  But even a 55 or 60 year lifespan is enough if you stay able bodied, eat good food, listen to good music, and have many friends.  It is quality of life not quantity.  If you live 60 years, get sick and are a cripple for 20 years until you die at 80, I don't consider this longevity.  Disability free lifespan is the key issue.  Living fully and not being dependent on anyone is freedom.  I want freedom.  Money is not the only form of value, power, or worth. 

So my life is improving as I reach middle age with wisdom and integrity.  I will date many Asian women and find the one I want to settle down with.  I know I have already reached enlightenment and I will attain human completion.  So until it is time for me to die, I will sing my song, do my art, eat my food, and have fun with the ladies.  Life is good.

The Soft Overcome The Hard

You will find, that in every aspect of life, this statement is true.  The soft overcome the hard.  The obvious, intuitive thing is not true.  The counter-intuitive thing is true.  God knows everything, and we know little.  You can study all your life and still know little.

In my life, I mastered music, judo, aikido, art, writing, home cooking, and swimming.  I wish I could make money in music, but it seems extremely difficult when there are more musicians than ever and fewer people making money from it.  I can't get enough rhythm and blues.

But I learned in my judo training that the moral principles of Jigoro Kano and Morehei Ueshiba are true.  Both were Japanese jujutsu masters who wanted to make jujutsu more civilized not less civilized.  Judo is sport grappling and Aikido is weapons grappling.  Judo and Aikido were born in the 1880s in Japan.

Greco Roman Wrestling began in the late 1700s in France amongst the soldiers.  Freestyle wrestling goes back to Britain and the USA and the catch wrestling tournaments held at festivals for people's entertainment.  Back then, a carnival or circus had a strong man who would take on challenges from the local people and other people would bet on the outcome of the wrestling match.  Catch Wrestling became freestyle wrestling, and that became collegiate when the American educators saw the value of groundfighting as scholastic sport and physical education.

In most combat sports, fights, and confrontations, if you oppose strength with strength, the stronger, faster man will win easily.  Yielding is the real strength.  Knowing when to yield to the aggression, redirect it, and make it work against the attacker is the secret to self defense.  This goes for boxing and kickboxing not just wrestling and judo. 

The soft overcome the hard.  Jigoro Kano was a physical education teacher, and wanted to create a system where the youth learned not to be aggressive and violent.  The more you act up, the more they will punish you.  So Judo can be a way to instill good values in the youth.  It teaches you self control, the best use of your body, to respect friend and enemy alike, and to be fair minded in victory and defeat.  There are no undefeated judo champions.

Even boxing and kickboxing can be used for physical education, fitness, self defense, and moral pedagogy.  But it is harder to use for this purpose.  Kickboxing involves a fight with gloves on, and the point is to knock the man out.  That is not physical education.  That is civilized fighting.  I am not saying boxing and kickboxing is useless or bad.  It is better than a parking lot brawl.

In my life, I have trained boxing, kickboxing, and judo, and I even have 6 months of Sambo training.  During those six months, I trained sambo, san da, and kempo jiujitsu.  Different uses of takedowns in different situations.

Obviously, if I had my youth over again, I would have done more boxing and less judo.  In boxing, there is reward for winning.  It is not just an amateur sport.  Even if you don't go pro, you can be a fitness teacher or do something involved in the sport.   Boxing and Muay Thai are similar things West and East, and have value to society. 

Most people in the street don't fight fair.  Self defense is a useless skill unless you are a teenager in high school or college.  But through the lens of martial arts training, you can learn to believe in yourself and apply yourself.  There are winners and there are losers, and there are empty talkers.  It is better to try and lose than be an empty talker. 

So I continue to like combat sports like boxing, kickboxing, wrestling, and judo.  It is a moral edifice for the youth.  Train hard, commit your evenings and weekends to something, eat right, don't run around at night, and be a winner.  It is a discipline of life.

In every aspect of life, the soft overcome the hard.  Tough, evil, vicious men may hurt you or sucker punch you or rob you or rape you.  But such actions easily rebound.  It is by being strong, not having to prove yourself, and knowing where you're at that you become a winner.

So I will continue doing art and music and writing in the spirit of the Kodokan.  You don't get anything for being the better man.  But if you are mentally tough, it doesn't bother you.  A tough minded man knows he will win in the end, because he is used to winning in a sportive contest. 

So criminals do crime and get crime done to them, and soft simple men lead quiet lives and die with contentment.  That is what I mean by The Soft Overcome The Hard.

Square One

This is the beginning of a new month, a new year, and a new decade.  It's been 50 years since the 1960s came to an end, and the Beatles have been gone for half a century.  These are daunting facts.

Moving on, I will continue making music on my guitar.  And I write songs and lyrics and chords all of my own.

I also draw constantly, and on my artist site, www.lioravnidesginwriter.com I have designs available for purchase, an About page describing my life briefly, and a very interesting blog I post in several times daily.  My mind is always active and I am always posting my thoughts to the internet.  I don't know if this is a good or bad thing.

Besides the music and the art, I want to exercise again.  I feel Judo is too intense an exercise for my age and condition, and Yoga is too light, not competitive enough, and not interesting enough.  And swimming is extremely boring.  I want to study Aikido at an authentic dojo, and even though I already am an expert at takedowns, pin-rides, armlocks, trapping, and flowing, I want to the experience of sharing my training with others.  As long as you stay home and keep it to yourself, you get nowhere.  It is by sharing your hobbies and interests with others that you get some result.

People who stay home all the time are miserable.  I want to share my music and Aikido with others, and save cooking and art for the home.  There is a time and a place for everything.

So it is a new year and I am at square One.  We have the winter, then the spring, then the summer, then the fall, and then another winter will return.  So make the most of the year.  Don't waste another year having mindless fun.  It is only by applying effort into something you care about that you get results. 

So in 2020, I will be writing, training, playing guitar, cooking, and enjoying life.  I don't need that much money.  More money wouldn't necessarily make my life better.  It's just money.