I realize that I am old before my time. While I am chronologically in middle age, I feel younger but look older. So I am in a unique position. Time is running out to establish myself, and I don't feel as successful as I want to be.
I am lessening the desire to achieve what people in the media or characters in movies achieve. I know that is not reality. But even some people in my own neighborhood know more or have more. So I need to get on my bike. And I see phases come and go.
Generally, a decade is a generation. I used to think twenty years was a generation, but later I realized I was too passive and dare I say overly-patient with the course of events. You need to seize the day and accumulate results by doing something every day, day in day out.
I can say I am in my 40s an feel fit and healthy. But I don't look young any more and know women are not hot for me like they used to be. I say this tongue in cheek. Most people equate youth with money, looks, and power. But I saw youth as preparation for what lies ahead.
I'm proud of who I have become, don't get me wrong. I know Tai Chi, Music, Nutrition, Drawing, Budgeting, Sexology, Driving a car with expert skill, etc...But that is not what makes you feel fulfilled in life. Being 'The Master' doesn't make you feel good. It is connection with others that gives you a happy heart. And now, I don't have many connections.
So all the youth reading my blog should consider their aspirations before moving on.
