You Never Stop Learning

 I realize that I am old before my time.  While I am chronologically in middle age, I feel younger but look older.  So I am in a unique position.  Time is running out to establish myself, and I don't feel as successful as I want to be.

I am lessening the desire to achieve what people in the media or characters in movies achieve.  I know that is not reality.  But even some people in my own neighborhood know more or have more.  So I need to get on my bike.  And I see phases come and go.

Generally, a decade is a generation.  I used to think twenty years was a generation, but later I realized I was too passive and dare I say overly-patient with the course of events.  You need to seize the day and accumulate results by doing something every day, day in day out.

I can say I am in my 40s an feel fit and healthy.  But I don't look young any more and know women are not hot for me like they used to be.  I say this tongue in cheek.  Most people equate youth with money, looks, and power.  But I saw youth as preparation for what lies ahead.

I'm proud of who I have become, don't get me wrong.  I know Tai Chi, Music, Nutrition, Drawing, Budgeting, Sexology, Driving a car with expert skill, etc...But that is not what makes you feel fulfilled in life.  Being 'The Master' doesn't make you feel good.  It is connection with others that gives you a happy heart.  And now, I don't have many connections.

So all the youth reading my blog should consider their aspirations before moving on.

Ruminations on Coins

 Money is the only man made value.  Commodities like oil, silver, gold, pork bellies, and oranges have innate value.  But money is printed by the government and has universal value.

America started out as a Portuguese colony to find exotic vegetables and such and ended a place where people fight over ideas and don't feel they are getting what they are worth.

There were many conquering, sailing nations in Western Europe.

Making a living is about budgeting.  Don't spend everything you have in one payment period.  Think in terms of 1, 3, 7, 21 and so on.  This helps you enjoy the present in moderation but have enough for emergencies and a bit saved up before the next payment period.

I have learned a lot over my time.

In The Spirit

 The best idea in native american thought and mythology is the concept of the spirit animal.  Each person has a face that resembles the animal they are most like in personality.  Form follows function, and form creates function.  The way we are shaped will determine the way our bodies can move.  The face indicates what type of man or woman you are.

I believe I am a wolf.  My features resemble that of a canine.  And not only do I have the long nose, round eyes, dark eyebrows, and clever mouth of a canine, some of my personality traits are similar to wolf traits as well.  Wolves are not all bad.  Some are noble predators, skillful hunters, and tender fathers.

A person has five limbs and a person also has five spirit animals.  But one animal always predominates.  So my prevailing trait is, I am voracious at spiritual seeking.  A wolf has a strong appetite, and spirituality is what I think about the most.  I lead such a spiritual life that the beliefs have become subconscious.

I reflect on myself today, and think how in my different pursuits, I embody different traits.  But when it comes to spirituality, I have an endless appetite for books, people, and experiences.

So it's been a hard summer and I've grown a lot.  I feel one part of my life is over and other has begun.  40 is the midpoint in life.  People who live to 100 are special.  So I know I have more time on earth.

I was explaining today to a friend that between to mountains is a valley, and when you reach the valley and start going up the second mountain, that is the most exciting phase of the journey.  You are done with the fun part, you've been through the trial, and now everything is uphill and towards the sky.  The sky is the goal.

So I am in the spirit and I know who I am.

Growing Up

 When we are young, we are inundated with ideas from the media about what we will be when we are done growing up.  It is hard to be sober when youthful exuberance is flowing through your veins and there is pressure from your friends as well as what you see on television.

When I was young, I liked playing guitar as well as martial arts.  UFC came out right when I was a sophmore in high school.  I liked music and how women respond to the sound of my guitar, but I also liked winning and feeling vindicated.  

I chose to focus on martial arts not thinking much about the future.  It was fun to win, but I didn't realize there would be life after sport.  My music only came out years after I stopped playing judo, and the music wasn't pushed through and marketed well because I had spent most of my time amongst athletes not in the entertainment industry.  My music was good between 2017 and 2019.  And then it began fizzling out.  

So I can say I forgot music in favor of judo and grappling.  That was a mistake.  But at least I have graphic design, or advertising art, to help me through this second phase of life.  Going to work may not be as exciting as being a rockstar, but it pays the bills. 

So I guess everyone on some level gets more mature with time and disillusioned with the idea of stardom.  I missed out.  But at least I still have something.

The Winter Blah

 Life on earth moves through cycles.  There are four seasons where I am from.  And winter is the hardest to get through.  Weather really does make a difference.

Sky Blue

In nature, couples often mate only in season.  Humans are supposed to have a feast and make love around the Harvest Moon, or Halloween.  The child gestates during the winter and is born during the summer.  Late children are often precocious and wise, and too late children have defects and sometimes are born too large.  Emulating nature is important.

I love the summer.  It is so brief, and yet, it is so memorable.  And sometimes it lasts into September or October.  Halloween is originally a celebration of the end of the summer.  And Celtic themes abound through my art and writings.

Art is important.  I have taken some time off from art but now I am back.  Looking back on my career, art and blogging is more important than music and judo.  I think about my life a lot and what I have accomplished.  Every teenager likes wrestling, rock n roll, pizza, and dating.  And then you got to get a job skill in college and move on.  So I am moving on.

In the future, my art will move and change and grow.  I want to explore Chinese themes and nature themes and deal with Christian subjects.  I remember how my art began with one-layer designs with crude white outlines, then moved to black and white line art, and then finally became bright comics based on Photoshop coloring techniques I learned from Kurt Michael Russell and his videos.

I want to visit a fourth stage.  And I want to think about selling more artworks in the future.  So keep an eye on this blog for more posts.

Back to Basics

 The last season of 2020 was brutal.  I cannot explain it.  I have been upside down and backwards.  I look back on this blog and see that it has taken some twists and turns.  It started out in 2017 promoting my art and about a year ago it became more philosophical in nature.  I am trying to bring it back.

I know it is simple.  It was done in Photoshop using black brush on white background.  It is representational of an Aztec sun pyramid in the mountains.  

Lately, I have been living in a predominantly Indian neighborhood.  I walk everywhere.  And I find myself living a more Indian kind of lifestyle.

I hope to learn to monetize something I do.  So far, I have monetized designs, ala carte articles, and office work.  But I want to go further into art.  With my design degree, there is credibility.

So as this year goes by, and 2021 is fast approaching, we are all getting into focus.  I have always known I wanted to be a writer.  And now I get to tell stories using technology.

How I Won The War

 America will win.  Russia, the Afghans and Hindus, and the Africans are the worst cultures.  The West is the Best.  Jim Morrison was a kind of prophet.  The NorthEast means the Kings.  The SouthWest means the soldiers.  And the New World was meant to be won.

It turns out music, pornography, the restaurant business, and combat sports were just invented to pervert the world.  The world needs culture.  The West went East and the East went West.  The center is the center.  And Israel has faith and morality.

So I survived a lot.  It was a combat zone.  I had to hide to be redeemed out of Zion.  And I helped the West win.  A flawed prophet must stay, and a righteous killer must bless the blessed and curse the cursed.  And the dragon lives forever.

I hope to continue this blog a while.  The world needs art and philosophy.  This is the source of culture.